Chains of Heart
by TheRoadtoDawn
Summary: With a damaged heart and ties that bind, can Daio Hawke find a way to let someone who has haunted her thoughts for years re-enter her life once more?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, it's your favorite fangirl...Pandi! I changed my writing style a bit, so I will be discontinuing the first fanfic I did, (Dawn has adopted it, so no worries!) I think you'll like this one a little better. Review Review Review! Thanks again to Dawn for letting me share her account, please read her stories, they are awesome in a basket~!**

Noise, the echo that blocks out the world around you. That tiny, inconsequential squeak that resonates in your ears, a crescendo.

This is what hounds my dreams at nightfall.

The cry of my mother as Bethany was brought down against the hillside, her skull cracking like an eggshell the second it met with the rock. Her shining black hair became soaked with her own blood and brain matter, each strand now a ghastly reminder of death.

Every word, every scream, all burned into my memory as sure as scars on skin. This is the noise I hear, the aching desperation of my failure, none the fault of any but I. We weren't able to offer Bethany an apt or proper burial; my younger sister was left in the sea of corpses, most likely devoured by the darkspawn.

That thought proved itself a terror at one blink of an eye.

Images of her body being torn to shreds by territorial beasts raced through my mind's eye. Her once flawless skin marred by thousands of teeth marks and claw indents, all proof of claim.

My fault, my mistake, my miscalculation, her death, everyone's suffering.

_Your fault,_

_My poor Bethany!_

_Open your eyes darling, please!_

_Bethany, Bethany, Bethany._

What could I have done differently? What could Carver have done to help?

_If only, if only, sang the cat that was lonely._

But when boiled down, there was nothing _to _do; I was not strong enough to save her, plain, simple. I wasn't fast enough to see the beast charge at mother. I wasn't aware enough to see Bethany try to stop it.

But life is cruel, isn't it? A good stick up the ass never helped a soul, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one up there.

I'm not a cruel woman mind you, but I'm not the nicest person to walk the streets of Kirkwall. I take a job when offered, I help when I can, but I usually don't go out of my way.

But mercy me! I have my reasons and my problems, so mind your own and I'll mind mine. Considering my past, I could have turned out worse. Most would be crazed serial killers; I'm indeed crazed in my own lovely way, but a murderer, no.

I am an apostate, as was my father and sister, but the difference between them and I is that they were never caught.

I was only twelve years old when it happened; we were all living in a small village outside the Wilds, tiny, but well watched by the templars. They saw almost everything that went on there, but not every detail.

I had been sent to collect the nights' bread for mother, father, myself, and the twins. They were only ten, and wanted so badly to come with to the market. Mother vetoed the idea of sending the three of us out, father urged it with gusto, always a topsy-turvy family we were.

I slipped away while they argued, right out the kitchen window. _Lucky I didn't tear my dress, _I'd thought with a giddy grin, _the noise would have me caught._

I didn't see any templars about, and like the foolish child I was, I used an extremely vivid orb of fire to guide my way through the dark spring eve. I saw no harm in it, but I could have saved myself a year of torment had I looked to the path on my right.

There stood a templar, a senior at that. He besmirched the 'squeaky clean' name of all the mage hunters, and sold us to the Tevinter for coin. He saw my magic and immediately subdued me, very straightforwardly I imagine, I was a scrawny child.

I don't remember much of the journey itself, but I was shipped to the Tevinter Imperirum, along with many other slaves to be. Most were blessed with beautiful voices, a pleasing face, and charm. I envisioned us all in chains, being whipped by a man with red eyes and long claws, a monster. But thus were my nightly terrors below the deck of the ship.

When we reached the coasts, we were auctioned off by the sovereign, the highest bidder was rewarded a new worker. Families were tore from each other, children wrenched from their mother's arms. "_Fine flesh, fine mage flesh! Nice and young, good and sturdy!"_

That was my cue to move up in the queue, to be presented to the buyers. Some whistled, made lecherous remarks about what they would do to me and my 'sturdy' flesh. Tears of outrage welled in my eyes, but I blinked them away as quickly as they could come.

Instead, I spat at them, twisting my restrains as I struggled to cast my magic through the wards.

"_Bastards!" _ I screamed at them all. "_You'll burn in hell for eternity for what you've done here! May the demons of the Fade have mercy on you, for the Maker surely won't, you'll all-_

I was slapped across my face by the auctioneer; he yanked me by the hair and put a knee to my back to shut me up. I smiled as the blood leaked between my teeth, who would want to buy me if I was damaged goods?

Apparently my former master would.

"_One hundred and fifty sovereigns."_

Everyone took an intake of breath and turned, that was over the price asked for me, who would want such an…..excitable slave? There was a tall man in silken robes, his hair slicked back and brown. He wore a cocky expression and had eyes that gleamed with a sordid light.

There was an elven boy standing to his left, markings all over his pale body. He had a hardened look to him, eyes that mistrusted, and a scowl cold enough to freeze fire solid.

The man whispered something to the elf and sent him my way.

He handed a bag of gold coins to the auctioneer and took a key from him. The elf had to lean down, for he was taller than me, to undo my restraints.

He looked me over, from my short black hair to my toes. I could see the pity he held for me.

"_My name is Fenris_." He said sympathetically and deeply. I met his eyes, and saw the pain underlying in those emerald depths. He held out his hand, which was covered in markings, to me.

When I placed mine in it, he winced with a small whimper, but his facial expression did not change. Fenris leaned down to me and brushed the hair from my ear.

"_There are many archers along the path we must travel. Should you run, they will not hesitate to kill you."_

I scoffed bitterly under my breath.

"_Where could I run?"_

He squeezed my hand briefly and pulled me toward my buyer. Fenris's hand twitched in mine, filled with anger at this man.

"_I am Danarius, but call me 'Master'; can you say that, my little spitfire?" _

I kept my mouth firmly shut, my eyes glimmering the mirth of my gall. I hoped he saw my blatant dislike, for I could hold it on my sleeve none the clearer.

"_I know you can little one. Tell me your name as I have told you mine." _He grinned crookedly, his lips sliding apart from his teeth in a manner most unnerving.

"_Hawke."_

I felt a sudden pain in my chest, like a burning sensation that went from my insides out. Had something stung me? I looked down and saw no mark upon my torso. Confused, I looked to Fenris, whose eyes were trained on Danarius; he knew what the slaver was doing to me.

And then it became clear.

_A mage._

"_Now tell me, Hawke, what is my name?"_

The burning intensified, prodding me to answer like an obedient slave, but my place held firm. This man would not break me, I would sooner die.

"_Da…narius."_

The pain gripped at my ribcage, setting my lungs ablaze. I could no longer breathe, perhaps I would suffocate, and my death would not matter, surely.

Fenris released my hand and pushed me behind him, he was valiantly protecting me, in a sense.

"_Master Danarius, please, refrain from her punishment." _His voice was beseeching, and yet….challenging. "_I will teach her the ways of a slave. I am imploring you, ser."_

"_You could learn a few things from Fenris, dear Hawke."_

The elf in question turned to the nobles around us and glowered, his judgment molten with hatred. He gave them his blazing fury, but such compassion to me.

Fenris was on my side.

* * *

><p>I awoke to sobs of a most pitiful sort, only to realize that they were in fact my own. I was surprised that Carver and Mother had not woken, the shack was miniature but I suppose sound did not travel well.<p>

I pulled the blankets away from myself, quivering in the morning introduction to the cold. My choice of nightwear could have been thought out a bit more, an oversized fencer's shirt and small clothes did not fight the cold with any amount of effectiveness.

I stepped down from my loft, only to hear a shriek of pain beneath my foot.

"Garebel!" I shriek, tripping clumsily over my mabari, landing hard on the wooden floor, like so many times before. I'd most definitely have a fun time walking around Kirkwall, if my ankle wasn't broken.

"Keep it down! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

_Screw you, Gamlen._

"I work to keep your lazy ass fed."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stroked Garebel's ears as my apology to the shaggy pup. I made sure my blankets were at least on the bed before slipping into the leather of my armor and tightening the straps with a grunt.

I slide my daggers into their sheaths, which crossed over the blades of my shoulders. Walking over to our shared dresser, I opened the top left hand drawer. A single ebony ribbon gleamed up at me with a foreboding gloom; the tie Bethany used for her hair back when she yet lived held such a grim reminder of my failure.

I whispered a quiet prayer as I put my hair into a tail, cascading down my back in a raven colored wave.

I hated it here, in Kirkwall. The sun wasn't bright enough, the people were too numerous, it was too loud, the water wasn't Fereldan. _ Nothing _here was Fereldan.

But there wasn't much I could do about it.

Carver is distant, Mother is disgusted with my scrutiny and value of human life, Gamlen wishes I'd keel over and die, Fenris isn't here.

He was my best friend. _I miss Fenris so much_

"Enough, Hawke."

There we go, steely face up, and there's our little firebird! Yeah…

_Unknown POV_

I drank the watered ale of the Hanged Man with a grimace, my fingers trembling around the cup. When would I find her? Did she even remember me? Did she miss me?

Maker I miss her. That short haired girl, with immaculate eyes brighter than any sky I'd seen in my freedom. The one whose smile lifted me to a place of indescribable bliss, who I wanted to hold and protect, just as she had done for me. I know now that she'd no clue the depth of my affections for her, but that mattered not.

I tossed a few bits onto the counter and stormed like a tempest from the tavern, colliding with someone on my way. Why was I angry? When had I become so?

So many questions, where are the answers?

I'd never felt the things she'd given to me, that sense of nirvana, of completion. She hadn't known she was capable of giving that to me, but somehow, I found it in her.

In many various ways, I find it ironic. She was the very essence of my odium; my moral code of mages stated that eventually, she would run to the arms of demons when pushed to it. I refused to even consider this when I saw the saccharine reflection of that girl.

"_There is only one chance for you. Take this and go." _The way she'd looked up at me, the fear and anguish in her eyes. She began to cry, shaking her head and sobbing with enough force to rack her shoulders. I had placed in her hands a bag of coin I'd managed to build up over the years; it was enough for food, and one boat to Fereldan I'd wager.

Commotion broke out behind us, the slaves' radical sense of freedom was in reach, and they rebelled with force to get it. We had precious little time before the magisters put down the revolt.

"_Fenris, you….can't ask me to do this. Come with me, I can keep you safe!" _She tried so hard to convince me; she used every ounce of conviction possible. "_Please…you're the only person brave enough to look beyond the magic in my veins. Come with me my friend, we could make it." _ That upset me to hear her say that, but I would take any affection she saw fit to give, I would have faced the world for her then.

"_I will be fine." _I held her close for a moment, knowing it would be the last I would ever have the chance. She held me tightly in response, and though my markings screamed in objection, I could care not. The next instant held the most heartbreaking moment of my life, and I knew it was pending.

I had pushed her from me in that second, and closed the door behind her, forcing Hawke outside the mansion with no way back in.

'_No!' _She hit the door from the outside, making it shudder. I could hear her cries of outrage from the other side. _'I-I'll hate you!'_ Hawke screamed, '_I'll never forgive you if you don't open the door Fenris!'_

My heart ached in my chest, wanting to shrivel and die for her. A lump formed in my throat and resisted the notion to dissipate. I _would_ die if she meant what she said.

'_I will escape,' _I vowed certainly,_ 'and someday, I'll find you again.' _I leaned against the thick door and placed my hand beside my face, feeling that hers was on the other side.

I consoled myself with the notion that it was what was best; there was no other explanation for it, none was to be had.

That memory pained me, the confusion and hurt she threw at me as the door closed. I prayed for the first time that night for her. I hoped with what was left of my soul that she made it safely away, that she would live to see me again.

But the reality has come crashing down on me, crushing my heart as surely as boulders. It has been eight years, six weeks, and two days since I last saw her pure face, heard her laugh. I never lost my optimism until just a few days ago. I thought if I could not find her, perhaps we would meet by chance when the path seemed darkest.

Her light would guide us both should it happen.

_Daio POV_

Kirkwall seemed….happy today. The nobles aren't as big of a pain as normal, they aren't screaming about a servant bringing home the wrong cloth or shoes or whatever it is they complain about that gives me headaches.

Maybe my luck is turning around a little? _Psh_, the hell it was, I still live with an ungrateful uncle and work for coin as a mercenary_. _Depressing thoughts aside, I have a job to do; I still need twenty more sovereigns for the expedition to take flight.

"Hawke, you okay in there?" Varric was tapping his temple with his index finger; his grin was hiding his worry behind a well rehearsed mask of normality. I managed a feeble smile for him as best I could, though it was a bit less than convincing.

None the less, he bothered me no more, pretending to take my smile as explanation. I knew however, that he planned to push the subject later. A fun time that.

"Right, Anders says that there have been some problems up in the Gallows with the mages. Should we check it out?" Varric knew what served best in rewards, naturally I informed him before doing anything remotely close to making a decision.

"Are you kidding me Bird? Working for zealots and skirt-men brings about as much gold as begging!" The dwarf threw his hands in the air. 'They think serving the Maker or helping the fellow man is its own reward. Bullshit!"

I chuckled at that. No doubt Anders would have my head if I didn't check it out sooner or later. The man was simply like that, what with Justice constantly harassing him to help the mages, I couldn't blame him.

I smiled wryly at Varric, pushing my thoughts aside yet again. "Any better leads, Short-Stack?"

He dipped his head like I was finally getting the big picture. "Bout time you asked. As a matter of fact, yeah. My contacts tell me that Meeran sent a letter to your house about some dwarf from Orzammar. I say we check _that_ out, newcomers don't know how much a worker should be paid topside. Lucky us, eh?"

I chewed my finger idly, _take advantage, or go home hungry?_

"We should find Merrill and Isabela, this sounds too easy." Knowing Daisy and Captain, it could take hours to find them both in the city.

"You take Daisy, I'll find the sailor."

"Brave choice, my friend, meet back here at sundown, then?" Varric nodded half-heartedly before we parted ways.

It would be a fun day indeed.

_Unknown POV_

Anso had revealed the fact that he'd found someone capable for the trap, a rogue with lengthy pitch hair and dazzling brown eyes akin to caramel. She sounded like a vision; hopefully she held skill in addition to her looks. That would be a dream come to life.

I perched myself in the shadows to the left of the hovel in which was set for my arrival. If worse came to worst, I would intervene as best as possible, however, I would like believe this woman and her group had enough competence to protect themselves.

It was hard to believe that a few factions of men stood between myself and possibly finding Daio once more, I wanted so terribly to find the chest within and gain her whereabouts. I knew I would be captured, but to know she was alive would be worth it.

"Well, isn't this wonderful? A midnight stroll _and_ hunters! Bloody marvelous." I assumed that was voice of the hired hand, from my perch, I could not quite see her face.

The door opened and closed stealthily, barely loud enough for me to register with trained hearing. Very impressive.

There was a hushed command from the inside before commotion broke loose. I wondered to myself if the hunters or the mercenary would emerge the victor of the battle. One can only wish.

I heard a chuckle and the slicing of human flesh; I could almost smell the blood from outside. The situation was being taken care of with efficiency if nothing else.

"There's the door." I turned slightly in the darkness to observe another faction of huntsmen swarm around the Alienage. Luck was certainly not on the woman's region of life tonight.

The mercenaries stepped back outside with barely more than scratches to the face. They'd done well enough without me, though I suppose I could assist somewhat.

I resided in the dimness of the night as I climbed the stairway to the market district of Lowtown. Greeted by yet another band of hunters, I let myself fade into the haze of battle, only faintly aware I'd just severed a man's head, or sliced through their insides.

My anger was spent upon the clash of blades, the agility needed to evade was great. I was death, my blade a scythe, and my eyes merciless. I saw nothing, but felt everything worth feeling.

Emotions ruled king.

"Retreat!"

I wrenched a warrior from his escape and thrust my hand into his stomach, the sensation was unpleasant, but he could not be allowed to leave here alive. None of them could.

He jerked away from me, vomiting a mouthful of blood onto the paved pathway. It was rather sad to see him reduced to such a pitiful sight.

"Cap….tain….." The warrior struggled to stay in this world, but his soul left his body as he fell down a short expanse of stairs. It was sickening to know the leader had yet to be killed, for he stood mere feet in front of me.

"You're men are dead, and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can."

The mercenaries looked exhausted, but at the same instance, triumphant, how remarkably lucky for them. I saw the woman Anso had described to me, though panting and sweaty, she truly was beautiful. She was staring back at me with tears brimming in her wonderful copper eyes; I was drawn to her, for some reason.

"You are going nowhere, slave."

The Captain clasped my shoulder hostilely, gripping it with enough force to bring me pain, and it did not please me. I turned, murder in my eyes, and punched clear through his chest. I grabbed his heart with my fingers, feeling its last beat, and squeezed it until it burst in my very palm.

He fell dead at my feet in a heap of wasted flesh.

"I am not a slave."

The woman spat at the body, clearly angered at the battle they'd endured, I could see motive in that, well enough.

"I apologize," I said, wiping the blood from my knuckles. "When I asked Anso to provide a distraction for the hunters, I'd no idea they'd be so….numerous."

The woman scoffed vaguely, seeming annoyed with my words of apology. She waved off my concern, literally.

"There is no reason I see for regret, this is in fact typical for us." She smiled at me again, filled with warmth and happiness.

Was she _crazed? _Her companions looked upon me with the interest of scrutinizing a captive animal, yet she seemed unaffected.

"I take it these men were after you, yes?" She continued on with the conversation, in search of why I was hunted so resolutely. And the time for explanation begins, so it seems.

"Correct," I paused my sentence for a breath, "My name is Fenris. Those men were Imperial bounty hunters, seeking to recover a magister's lost property." I rolled my eyes in annoyance with the tale, told oh so many times. "Namely myself. They were trying to lure me into the open, though crude as their methods were, I could not face them alone." My lips turned upward a fraction. "Thankfully, Anso chose wisely."

"I am rather glad I killed them then, such vermin deserve their fate. In any way, it's a pleasure to meet you, call me….Bird, for now."

"I have met few in my travels who wish to seek anything other than personal gain." It was the moment of wondrous truth. "If I may ask, what was in the chest, the one they kept in the house?"

"I am sorry, but it was empty."

It was a lie…..how stupid of me to hope for anything more….

"I see, I just…ah, it doesn't matter any longer." My voice was thick and bitter with disappointment. It filled me with sadness and fear of her death to know I could not find Daio.

I searched the Captain's body and found a note, on it was scribbled an address in Hightown. Denarius would be there for certain.

"Just as I suspected, my former master accompanied them to the city. I know you have questions, but I must ask you for your help once more."

'Bird' held up her hand, "Say no more, I am at your service."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Hi guys! Sorry for the pause of the story, I think no one reads it, **

**but I'll keep writing if you like!**

_Daio POV_

Fenris…..Maker bless us all to the Golden City! I thought by no means that he could find me, or that I would be this delighted to see his pale face again. It worries me that he's not recognized who I am so far, but it would appear that he has bigger fish to fry, or so to state.

Perhaps I should be more upset with him, but I just can't do it after how badly I've missed the way he fought for me, or the way he stood by my side.

"Hawke!" Varric manages to surprise me from my thoughts. In spite of myself, I shrink away from his voice like a small frightened child. It brings shame to me.

"It seems she's very happy about something, what is it Hawke?" A very candid mage skips beside me, grabbing my arm and tugs adoringly on my sleeve.

"N-nothing, I think I've met him somewhere before. And besides, we have something to do now don't we?"

Merrill smiled at me, the 'how cute' smile. I hated and loved that expression with a passion.

Isabela chose that moment to swagger ahead of us, swaying her hips to the motion of distant sea waves. Despite her flirtatious and outright seductive manner, Isabela had a class all her own, and every person was fair game.

"You _think _you've met him?" Her voice quivered in a boarder-line moan. "He makes me _shiver _with those markings of his, and that baritone, Maker…. Don't you think?"

I flared with anger, but my voice held the frosty venom of jealousy.

"Hmph, isn't that boringly typical? You see a man of any caliber and just have to taint him with whatever disease infects you to stalk anything with genitals, that's just sad."

"Maybe you have met him Hawke, on a number of….frivolous occasions".

I'd kill her if she kept up. The only question is how and when…..

"How sharp do you think this blade is, Isabela?" I smirked at her, drawing my dagger and running my thumb against the face of the steel, feeling the spicy sweetness of murder pump into my veins.

She continues to walk, not missing a beat, but I can see the reservoir of doubt behind her eyes. Isabela watches me now with the aloofness of a killer.

"Do you think your blood would taste like cinnamon, Izzy?"

"It depends on the reasons, Hawke. What might they be?" Isabela narrowed here eyes at me the moment her question was asked. My threats were never empty, and she knew this to the letter.

Varric puts a calming hand on my shoulder and squeezes, trying to say 'she isn't worth it'. I believe him, but my guard doesn't drop towards her in the slightest.

I care for all of my companions, but my sense of care is making sure they don't end up dead by someone else's blade. I have done well, I'd say, but annoyance with them is justified in every way.

We continue on, my teeth digging into the side of my cheek as I effectively chew it raw in anxiety.

_When should I tell him?_

_When,_

_When,_

_Whe-_

"We're here, Bird. You can stop pacing, you know." Varric said not unkindly but with a tinge of firmness. He dips his head, urging me onward.

I nod in return and slip my daggers back into their sheaths, gripping the handles with a loving firmness of which is earned through the escape of a skirmish or two. I can see Fenris waiting besides a dilapidated building; it looked like a splendor in its earlier years, I'd bet. His is leg bobbing up and down in nervousness, or motivation maybe. His eyes are closed as he finds himself in the darkness behind the lids, Fenris told me once that in the gloom of the unconscious, comes the reward of quiet.

I never saw the truth in his words, until I noticed the world is a continuous piercing upsurge of sound. There was no quiet in the city, there wasn't quiet in the slightest anywhere.

"No one has left the mansion, but I've heard nothing within." His eyes didn't open, and his voice was oddly serene despite the obvious danger. "Danarius may know we're here, I wouldn't put it past him."

"So, this Danarius," I said, trying to be without suspicion. "Is he powerful?"

"Correct. In Tevinter, he is a wealthy mage with great influence. Here, he is but a man who sweats like any other when death comes for him."

I smile up at Fenris, clearly catching him off guard by my willingness to help.

"Then we've not a moment to waste."

I tell Isabella to wait outside in case the guards decide to make an appearance tonight. Truly, I just want her as far from Fenris as possible.

The mansion is frigid on the interior, and no life is seen at our first glance.

There's no sound other than our breathing to accompany the alertness that floats in the air around us. The disquieting silence and puts a damper on the joy I feel.

I motion for Varric and Merrill to take flank positions beside a hallway just ahead. Fenris and I head straight down the corridor with our weapons drawn and at the ready. I notice just how much he's grown since I last saw him, he still has a slight slouch, but his height makes it understandable. I'm glad his demeanor is still as I remember, however.

Fenris is too eager to be done with Danarius as he rushes for the door, though I grab his arm before he turns the knob. His eyes rush to mine, filled with pain and annoyance, I stand my ground and release him with a sound of warning.

"Do you see the discoloration on the face of the tiles?" I whisper at him, pointing to where his foot would've landed had I not stopped him. "That one is newer than the others, it's a pressure sensor."

I kneel down and disarm it as quickly as possible and open the door, inviting him to enter.

We step inside and I slip into stealth, guarding close behind Fenris as we stalk through the room.

"There's nothing here." Varric said, glancing towards the next door. He takes a few steps toward it. "We need to keep moving."

His fingers twitch on Bianca's trigger as a sudden chill sweeps through the room, bringing even more icy air to snap at us.

The walls become alight with fire, but it burns with no warmth to offer.

It was a trap.

"Varric, Merrill, stun what you can and keep to the sidelines!" My voice is that of a leader, of a military woman at her best.

Rage demons lurch forward, eyes smoldering from the power of magic that animates them.

They scorch the very floor they stand on with the heat of hatred and envy. They want our humanity, I see, no matter.

We clear the first room with no difficulty in the slightest, but then we enter the main hall. The doors close and lock behind us in a gust of force that makes me loose balance.

An arcane horror grins from the stairway, shades and lesser demons line the floor in formation to kill. There are many more than I'd thought to encounter.

I leap forward and strike first, landing a blow into the eyes of a shade, killing it. They swarm towards us, trying to use numbers to overpower intellect, to no avail, I might add.

Bolts of ice whistle through the air, freezing as many of the bastards as luckily possible. Merrill is a blessing in close cut situations like these; she uses speed and smarts to dodge and fire back.

There is a sudden explosion from behind me, and I see Varric stomping the fire out from around him. A rage demon must have him in its sight, how wonderful.

Fenris weaves between the enemies as he slices through shadowy mass with his great sword; his face is calm and cheerless when he thrusts his hand through a skull and brings down execution.

But he's let down his guard a second too long and I can only watch as his back is carved open by the foul claws of a cocky demon.

"Fenris!"

He bites his lip until it bleeds to keep from screaming out, but I know he wants to let loose a cry of pain like never before.

My heart aches for him, but I can do nothing until the demons are completely gone. I can see only his agony and my mistakes as Varric, Merrill, and I kill the rest.

With me on the frontier, my abilities are put to the test of continuous battle. My other friends do their very best to keep the demons off me, but ranged attacks can do only so much.

I drop my blades and raise my hands to the few monsters left standing, I've no other option but to let magic finish what nasty work it started.

Lightning crackles from my fingertips and bee-lines for its intended targets, entering and bringing the blue light of electricity throughout their bodies. They spasm in an uncontrolled attempt to live, but I press onward, pouring more of my energy into the attack.

Merrill and Varric are at a loss for words as the enemies fall, charred and smoking. I don't think they had any knowledge of my magic at all, funny story that would be.

"Hawke! Maker almighty…." Merrill calls, breathing heavily.

They rush to me, trying to get me to my feet as quickly as possible.

"No," I croak at them, "Bring me Fenris, but be gentle."

The elf in question refuses to be touched by their hand; he waves away their assistance and forces himself to his feet. He stumbles as he walks, but Fenris makes it to me without falling.

"H-Hawke?" His eyes are stone cold with an emotion he won't let me see. I nod once, confirming his query and he drops to his knees in front of me.

"Not here." I whisper with a half-smile. I bring my hands to his back in a hug-like motion, running my fingers over the tears in his armor with care.

"I need you to be still." He gives me access to his injuries with uncertainty, as his trust in magic in very little I'm sure.

Merrill kneels down as well, medical supplies in her arms at the ready. She gives me an elf root to chew, and I take it with a sigh of thanks. The taste when I bite down is positively fowl, and the greasy juice makes me want to gag, but I swallow and achieve the power I need to heal.

Merrill cuts into her palm, transferring even more energy to my tired bones with her blood magic. Fenris's gaze hardens, but he says not a word to her as I lay out my materials.

I unhinge the armor and peal it from his skin, exposing him to the air. Fenris grunts and looks back at me, bending his neck in an uncomfortable angle to do so. His eyes bore into mine and fill me with a sense of undying trust; I breathe deeply and proceed with my examination.

Fenris tenses when he feels my magic enter his body, but he doesn't move from me. I roam his shoulder blades quickly, careful not to touch his markings.

I gaze down at them, and blue white they stare back. They look like veins crisscrossing over his body; and it strikes me as hard to believe they've caused him such pain.

"Merrill, Varric, go scout the other rooms."

Varric stared down at me, a frown on his face.

"But Hawke-

"I said go."

The slash is deep, but I doubt any permanent damage has been done to his nerves. I work in silence to repair the broken flesh and pick the pieces of metal from his wounds.

"I'm not sorry." Fenris says strongly as I bandage the stitched cuts. His fists are clenched at his sides, waiting for my answer as if it might kill him.

"Not sorry for what? You've done nothing wrong to me." He shakes his head, convinced of his point in statement.

"I forced you to leave that night, and I hold no guilt in it."

I nod thoughtfully and stand up, he follows suit soon afterwards. Fenris waits silently for a response as we search for Varric and Merrill in the twisting halls, the awkwardness is very apparent.

We go through every room and don't find even a clue.

"Varric? Merrill?"

Another door leads to another hall, the hall leads to a room, which ends in a room with two doors, and one is locked. It never ends for me, does it?

"In here Hawke." Varric's voice snaps me to tension as I run toward the sound with Fenris at my side. He and Merrill are searching an arcane horror's corpse when we walk in.

"Have you found anything?" Fenris asks, giving the room a once over.

Varric stands and hands us a key, undoubtedly for the locked door in the room before this one. We head back and unlock it, but there is no one inside for us to find.

"Gone." Fenris scowls at the floor beneath his feet. "I assume Danarius left behind valuables, take them if you wish. I need some air."

I tell my remaining companions to search through the mansion and gather what they can carry as I run after Fenris.

Again he is leant up against the wall with his eyes closed, but now the air smells of disappointment and sadness.

"It never ends." He begins his sentence, voice rather grim. "I escaped the land of dark magic only to find myself in the company of even more imbecilic mages. Blood magic, lyrium, it is a plague burned into my very soul, determined to hunt me as my master does now."

"Please don't be angry with Merrill, I think she thinks her work is a safe task." I triggered something by saying that, because he shakes his head and steps toward me.

"Do you not see? Did the time we spent as slaves mean absolutely nothing? Blood magic corrupts any mage stupid enough to accept its power. She proves my point by believing she cannot be harmed by it."

He sinks back against the wall, scraping his back as he does so. If he noticed, Fenris shows no pain.

"Hawke, I have missed you like nothing before, and I appreciate your help. Understand that I am grateful, but do not try to dissuade my point."

"I _do _understand, but it was not just I who helped you. Merrill and Varric were present, you know." I sit beside him and nudge his shoulder as I used to. "I'm staying with my uncle in Lowtown if you ever want to see me."

Fenris sighs heavily as gazes at the stars above us.

"I'll have to take you up on that sometime soon."

After so many nights spent wishing and hoping, our parting ends with happiness and understanding, as it should've eight years ago.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Hi you guys~ To those of you, who read this, thank you so much! The few reviews I've gotten keep me going, give me more please! This is just a silly chapter for Daio to unwind in. It shows how goofy and unexpected she can be. Enjoy and review!**

_Daio POV_

I slept well that night, and then decided that the following day would be all about and for me. No mages, no templars, no bandits, just relaxation and a visit to Fenris.

The morning ritual is presence to company today. Carver, Mother, _and _Gamlen are awake before me, that's just wonderful.

Right, armor is check; ribbon check, food eaten, and daggers are a no go.

Not underneath the bed, not in the card room, under the bed maybe? A further study confirms a 'no' to that question. I don't think I left them in or on the dresser last night when I came home. Did Carver use them for something? Probably not, he's too proud to use my daggers, better to struggle with a cheese knife than ask for my help.

Uncle watches with an amused smirk on his drunken lips. Honestly, an hour past waking and he's already off his ass and talking gibberish. It's a miracle he still has the ability to stand, which I suspect he'll lose in about an hour, give or take.

"I can't find my daggers. Mother, have you seen them?" I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand in annoyance and wait for her to answer.

She runs her fingers through her hair and sighs. I can see the exhaustion written on her face; Mother is obviously weary from the stress of Kirkwall weighing so heavily upon her.

"I washed them earlier this morning; they're drying in the sun on the windowsill."

"I've already looked there though….." But there they are, shimmering in the sunlight just as she said. I nod to Mother and wave farewell to Carver, who stares blankly back at me.

"I'm going with you." He gathers his things in solemn calm and begins to walk towards the door. I frown at him, trying to show my dislike of his sudden assertiveness.

"I have nothing to do today; I was only going to visit a friend of mine in Hightown." I stand in his path to the outside, though he is much taller, I refuse to back down. Sibling rivalry stops being cute after the age of six, I'm downright sick of it now.

His appearance changes to one of which can be called hostile, he sneers at me and the air between us runs cold. Carver places his hand on my shoulder and shoves me out of his way; there is a mocking gleam in his watery blue eyes when I fly in his intended course of direction. I crash into the doorway, crying out when I hit the wooden frame.

"Carver Hawke! Get back into this house, now!" Mother's eyes ignite with anger; I've never seen it this severe any time before now. She storms after Carver, who looks down at his hands in his bafflement, but I can see no guilt on his face.

People from the outside stare, peering inside through the door and violating what little privacy we have.

"Go ahead Daio; your brother won't be joining you on your travels today."

I rubbed my shoulder angrily and replied rather resentfully, "If he wants to come along, then so be it, I've no problem with that. I didn't lie, I'm going to visit an old friend and finish some errands."

My brother just gawked after me as I walked out the door and slammed it with enough force to rattle the windows.

What have the Hawkes become? Since Bethany died we're most certainly not a family.

The business in Lowtown still perks me up a bit; at least some people can make a living for themselves honorably. They can feed their children and wives; they have actual _families, _ones that love them for working hard and not giving up.

I wish I could have a loving person to head home to; I so badly want it that I'd be willing to leave Carver and Mother behind in the dust. No one can hate me for saying it as such when they blame me for my sister's death, and make me believe it too.

I decided to be like Uncle, and drown away my sorrows in a pitcher of ale.

I was met by Isabela at the door of the Hanged Man, her cheeks decorated by a pinkish blush that she had to have been working on for hours. She glared coldly and moved as far away from me as possible without leaving the room. I wonder just how fumed she was with me as to do that.

I seated myself cautiously, close to the windows and far away from people, the most to drink I'd ever had was a hasty sip of Father's flask at age fifteen. I coughed and sputtered so badly that my eyes turned red and watered with fury. I was a lightweight when it came to drinking, and I wouldn't test my luck when Isabela was near to make humor of my drunken ramblings.

I started off with a pint of beer, steadily raising the glass to my lips and sipping carefully. It went down easy, but it didn't taste very good at all. I ordered a glass of water as well, if only to chase down the flavor of my first drink.

As the day went on into the afternoon, and as my drinks went down easier, Varric emerged from his room and greeted me with good nature.

"Hawke, might I say that blush suits your pretty cheeks? By the Maker, how's the ale treating you?" He seated himself beside me and ordered a drink for himself. His smelled much stronger than mine, just a whiff made my vision fuzzy.

"I feel very strange, happy even. Is that normal?"

Varric gaped at me, his eyes widening considerably at my question. Did I happen to say something surprising?

"Are you telling me you've never been smashed?" He asked quite seriously, resting his chin in his palm.

I giggled at his baffled expression. "Nope, I have not."

"Piss drunk, dizzied, wasted?" My funny dwarf ticked off each name on his fingers, even the more surprised when I vetoed each one.

"We'll just have to change that then, won't we?" He took a quick drink of his alcohol and held the glass out to me.

I took it hastily, hand shaking slightly. Varric made a gesture to drink, tipping his hand toward his face as if to say 'and do it quickly too'. He nodded when I raised the foul-smelling liquid to my lips.

Closing my eyes, I tipped the glass back and swallowed as fast as I could. I was suddenly very warm, and my eyes felt a little heavier than a few seconds ago.

"Smooth." I whispered jestingly. Varric ordered a few more, saying that he would pay the bill once we were fully 'hammered'. I wondered just how many drinks that would take.

He took away my water, telling me it wasn't a good 'chaser', and instead had a bottle of apple juice brought to me. I felt like a kid, sipping juice again with a happy demeanor.

We drank together until we were giggling like children and I couldn't think properly.

Everything was suddenly just so _funny;_ I couldn't help but laugh at it all!

"You're so short….." I poked Varric in the side with my index finger; and he almost fell out of his chair. I never noticed just how interesting my fingers were, able to bend and unbend…..oh look; they have nails at the ends!

"You're way too tall. You aren't even a bird, you know that? You can't fly." He raised his brow at me and chuckled, which led into full blown laughter.

I heard the tavern door open and close, but was too lost in my giggles to turn and see who it was that had entered. I hid my head in my arms as tears streamed down my cheeks and my sides began to hurt terribly.

"Hawke, are you feeling well? You look like you might fall out of your seat if you keep that up." I sat straight up, wobbling in my chair slightly as I did. I knew that voice!

"Hi Anders! What brings you here?" I leaned my head on his shoulder and he pinched my cheeks gently.

"I went to your uncle's home…or shack? Anyway, there was someone waiting there for you. Your Mother told us to either check in at Merrill's or here if we wanted to find you." Anders picked up my drink and smelled it, he recoiled in surprise the second he did so.

"That's a pretty strong drink Hawke. How many have you had?" He rattled the glass in his hands, watching the liquid inside lick the edges and nearly fall out. I twisted from side to side in my chair and chewed my lip as I thought up an answer.

"I stopped counting after four, so….. more than that I think?" I watched the colors in the room mix together, browns, grays, blacks, all in one. It was dull, even when mixed they were still depressing shades of dull.

A tuft of white hair caught my eye as I twirled about; I put my foot on the ground to stop the chair. Standing up made me rather dizzy; walking made the room spin faster than the chair did.

"Is that you Fenris?" It was! Fenris was here at the Hanged Man!

I ran as quickly as I could to hug him, or topple into him as it may be; I tripped over my feet about a step away from him. I'm so very clumsy today, is everyone like that when they drink?

Fenris grimaced slightly when I hit his arms, I forgot about his markings for just a short lapse in memory. Guilt made my stomach churn terribly, or was it the alcohol I'd had?

"I'd come to pay you a visit; you were here the entire morning I take it?"

I nodded and led him to the bar, seating him next to me. Fenris looked uncomfortable in such a crowded area, but I'd always protect him, screw being drunk, I could still take down a few slavers if I had to.

"Should I learn to look here often?" His gentle voice made my heartbeat sky-rocket to an unbelievable speed. The tone was just so charming and kind that it brightened a room, certainly lifting my spirits.

"This was the stranger who was waiting at your home for you." Anders peered around my shoulder to give Fenris a once-over. His expression reveals that he does not like what he sees in the slightest. "I take it you know him?"

I put my arms around them and smiled, though each glared at the other. Was there a certain day when men had to be stupid and women just didn't know? Was it a new trend?

"I know you both! Anders, this is Fenris. Fenris, this is Anders." They met eyes with the other with scowls of scorn on their faces; a mutual dislike was already in order. They needed to play nice; after all, they were both my closest friends.

"Fennikins, I hope my family didn't give you any trouble?"

Fenris's expression changed to perplexed at the choice of nickname. I'd diffused the situation like an absolute pro, go Daio!

"Fennikins…..? No, they gave me no grievance. The boy did share a rather spiteful exchange of mumbling, however."

"That's my little brother; we're having a few issues back home." I said casually, to me, these kinds of situations were normal. Carver and I were constantly at each others' throats, night and day, rain or shine.

I turned and raised the back of my shirt to show him the bruise I'd sustained this morning. He and Anders virtually gasped in pure horror at the angry purple color it had turned.

"He did this to you?" Anders pressed two fingers against it tenderly, checking for any broken bones. He worried too much about these things when it came to me.

Anders pulled my shirt back down and combed his fingers into his hair with an exasperated sigh. I knew he cared, and it was good to know that at least one person felt something other than contempt for me.

"Carver didn't mean to, I swear! He was just a little miffed because I didn't want to bring him with me today."

Fenris gave me a sharp look that sent a cold chill down my spine. I visibly shrunk away from his gaze.

"It would have taken something more akin to rage for the boy to do something of this caliber." He turned my head to the side, checked around my neck, and squeezed my arms. It felt like he was examining me, like a mother checking a child over for scrapes.

I covered my mouth with my hand as a motherly version of Fenris popped into my head and refused to leave me.

"Fen…..Fenris, would you be mad if I told you I'd just seen you wear an apron?" Fenris untied my hair and checked for anything wrong with my scalp. When he finished with that section, he tucked Bethany's ribbon into my pocket, leaving my hair to laze about my head.

"Was it very pretty? I believe I look best in green." He said while continuing his work. I just let Fenris keep going; I was too busy giggling about nothing to be annoyed.

Once he'd finished exaggerating my safety, I looked out the window and into the streets of Kirkwall. This place was so lonesome, so cruel and dangerous that even the moonlight had a dark shine to it.

The normality of the city was evil, slave trading, mage killing, and bandits at every corner. I hate it, I wouldn't shed a tear if Kirkwall up and burst into flames this very second.

"I'm going to go home now." I found Varric sleeping on the countertop and slid a gold piece into his hand; I would feel much too guilty if I let him pay for the things I'd ordered today.

I stumbled out of the tavern, my mind wandering to many unsafe territories which I bottled up inside. How Mother blamed me for all the death, how much Carver hated me. What family did I have?

I had Fenris back, the one person who sacrificed his own freedom to help me escape. He was so selfless, so kind and wonderful to me. I had Anders, he was tender and gentle, and listening to anything I found worthy to say was just one quality I found wonderful. He never judged me, he never made me feel like less of a person.

I staggered up a few stairs, tripping on the last due to my inability to see in the dark. I lit a small orb of light in my hand, brightening my path considerably. My hair curtained over my eyes, making a pitch haze seem to cloud my sight. I pushed them away, but to no avail.

The light flickered on my fingers and went out as my self-confidence plummeted into nothingness. What kind of mage can't light a simple fireball?

"Stupid magic." I light it again, and it went out once more in my hands. I give up!

_Fenris POV_

Where did she mean _home?_ Did Daio assume the dank hovel I'd visited was a home? They do not care for her as a family should, or as I imagine a family should. That boy, Carver, the one who'd hurt her, he was justified for retribution, his cruelty was sickening.

But that is not the point I wish to make now, the night is an example of suffocating darkness and Daio is out on her own, drunk. I wish that the innocent lens she views the world from behind would simply shatter. It would make her realize the darkest shadows lurk just on the edge of light.

I searched along the buildings, a feeling is eating away at my stomach that she needs me now.

_I need to find her, she's not safe._

I need to protect her, to keep her always in my sights and away from danger. Hawke is a precious, lovely woman who needs an anchor to keep her from floating away into the clouds where her head stays planted.

Her dreams, the ones she'd described to me in our time together, they were so vivid, like light was threaded into each. Her intentions were so true, so pure; nothing would push her from her path.

"_I want to keep my family safe, to make sure that my brother and sister live the way they should."_

She had no desires for herself; she was so focused on the safety of her family and those who loved her. To have that kind of soul, that purity that burned with the clearness of her vision of happiness must be the most amazing feeling.

A sister, Hawke said she had a sister when she last spoke of family. Why did I not see her on my visit to the house?

"Shh….it will be alright, don't cry." The mage, Hawke's friend; that was his voice. Where was he? Was he talking to Hawke?

"I'm so alone Anders! They hate me, they want me dead…." The sentence led into fits of hiccups, followed by sobbing.

The darkness mocked me; I was so close but so far from finding her. Who hated her? What was making her cry?

"Did Fenris leave with you? Is h-he alright?"

"I'm sure he's fine Hawke. We should get you home, you're getting cold."

It sounded extremely close, perhaps on the other side of the building? I started off in that direction, already having had my fill of their conversation.

"No, I want to wait for him! Find Fenris for me, I was…supposed to visit him today in Hightown." There was a sudden gasp. "You don't think he's mad about that do you?"

What? No, I wasn't angry with her for anything at all, she'd done nothing wrong. I turned the corner and found Hawke and the mage huddled on the ground, his cloak wrapped around her delicate shoulders.

She looked up at me, brown eyes shining with tears. Hawke leapt up and hugged me, and for the second time today, my markings screamed out in agony.

"I-I'm so sorry Fenris! I won't ever drink again, I promise!"

I placed my hands on her shoulders and felt the feelings in my stomach dissipate instantly. She was safe; there was not a thing wrong with her. Hawke was perfect.

"I need to go now; I hope to see you around Hawke." Anders stood and began to walk away, though his face showed calm, his eyes showed severe bitterness. His presence brought me much disquiet.

"Would you like me to walk you home?" I asked, wrapping the coat tighter around her shoulders. She squeezed my hand gently, an embarrassed blush coloring her cheeks. Her eyes darted to the ground and stayed there, refusing to look up at me.

"I don't want to go home. My family doesn't want to see me." Hawke turned away, walking toward the Alienage with her feet dragging in the dirt. Her behavior worried me; Daio was never depressed, about anything.

"Where will you go? Do you intend to stay with the blood mage?"

She looked over her shoulder and shrugged away my question. Her attitude towards me said that all was right in the world, that even though evil was present, a friendly gesture was always appropriate. "I'll be alright, and besides, it's the closest place for me to go."

I went after her in my stubbornness, lacing my arm through hers and steering her in the direction of Hightown. If anything, she could stay with me until tomorrow morning.

"What are you doing?" She giggled at me, the sound much akin to holiday bells, rich and light. Hawke slid her arm out of mine and skipped away, a grin plastered on her face.

I took a step toward her; she stepped back and grinned wider. Hawke was playing a game with me.

"If you can catch me before I get to Merrill's, I'll stay with you."

She took off running; passing me by instantly, Hawke had surprising speed, even when drunk. I chased after her, if only to humor her and keep her smiling.

Hawke jumped a near entire flight of stairs, she was so near to the Alienage that I did as well. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hoisted her over my shoulder.

"Put me down!" She sounded so very happy that I found myself smiling as well. She was like a full grown child, beautiful but oblivious to those around her.

I placed her on the ground and chuckled at her. Hawke wrinkled her nose at me and took my hand, swinging them back and forth.

"I'm so glad you're back. I wasn't sure if you knew that."

Of course I'd known that, I could see it every time she looked at me. That sparkle in her eyes told me she remembered everything from our time together, that she'd never forget.

We walked in utter silence as the joy of her nearness filled the cool night air around us. The stars were shining bright, illuminating the sky with a free sense of existence, of meaning. Anything she did made the world beautiful, cleansed it of sin and taint. The world was perfect with Daio Hawke in it…


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

**Hi guys, just Pandi again. I hope you've enjoyed parts 1-3 of my story. If there are any questions you have about the plot or all that jazz, just leave them in a review and I will answer them. Sorry for the briefness of the last chapter, I didn't quite know how to make the whole Hanged Man outing funny yet serious. Forgiveness? Review, read Dawn's stories, and enjoy, that is all I ask my loyal readers! Oh, and if you could, what names would be good for a cat? Any silliness will be accepted and cherished.**

_Daio POV_

Fenris opened the door to the mansion we'd visited only yesterday, where I feared so much that I'd lost him to a demon's attack. The inside looked as if he'd tried in futile to clean it, some of the debris having been swept into a large pile, but with most of the tiles literally torn up, there's no possibility of going further without help.

It was very dimly lit, a solitary candle flickering in the overwhelming darkness of the den. I watched said flame with a child's enthrallment, the tri-burst of color having no chance whatsoever to light the room all on its lonesome.

He lived here, and the difficulty to accept it was very near unbearable. To think he lived where it was so cold and utterly lonely, in a place that was about as much of a home as my Uncle's shack. The gloom reminded me of the holding chambers in Tevinter, but without the crying and fear.

I was far beyond weary when we sat on the stone carved benches in front of the fireplace, but I forced all thoughts of fatigue from my mind.

I was shivering violently despite having a warm feather coat draped on my shoulders. The soothing warmth of the alcohol must have worn off without my knowing, leaving me to vibrate from tremors.

Ashes in the fireplace seemed to smirk up at me, the barrenness once having held warmth it refused to share now.

I pulled Anders's coat as tightly around myself to stay the cold, though I was careful not to rip it. The fabric was soft and smelled like him, the scent of spice and incredible determination. It _is_ rather silly to think determination has a smell isn't it?

Fenris rose from his seat and walked calmly up the stairs, leaving me behind with only the unlit fireplace and single candle as company. The soft glow of the wick kept on tantalizing me, I felt I could reach out and touch it without the consequence of getting burned. I felt like an overgrown moth and found myself wondering if I could fly.

I heard a shuffling noise followed by something toppling over, the sound made me jump with a potent effectiveness. Needless to say, the flame was forgotten.

My heart pounded against my ribs like I had just run a marathon.

"Are you quite alright Fenris?"

I heard him coming down the stairs, emerging with an armful of freshly chopped wood. His ivory head peaked out from the side of the bundle so he could see where he was going.

Fenris arranged much of the wood in the fireplace and tried to get it started with the candle. I found it rather funny that he would even attempt that, to be perfectly honest.

I sent a small fire bolt into the pile of lumber, lighting it instantly. I smiled to myself, satisfied that I could keep the fire ball going long enough to set the wood alight. Fenris rolled his eyes at me and took his original place of seat on the bench, directly across from where I sat.

The crackling fire began to warm me, and I heard myself sigh in total happiness. I appreciated the fact that Fenris had gone through the trouble of preparing the fireplace for me.

I knew he would have to arrange other things for my stay, and I didn't want to impose upon his hospitality. I also knew that Garebel must be nearly suffocated with worry by now; I hadn't been home to see him all day.

"Fenris, are you sure you want me to stay here? Merrill is always willing to let me stay with her. She wouldn't mind my company." I warmed my hands by the fire, feeling my skin absorb the heat greedily.

"It poses no trouble, Hawke. It's the visit you promised me."

He stood up once more and retreated to another room beyond my sight. I felt immense guilt for my actions tonight, I had been so stupid.

But what he said was true; it was in fact what I'd promised. I was aware that not being there was my fault, but it didn't feel as though he was trying to hold it against me.

I continued on with our conversation, hoping he could hear me wherever he'd gone off to.

"I've already promised not to drink again, and Varric told me that I'll have to pay for it in the morning." I sighed to myself. "What a pleasure that will be."

He returned with a bottle in his hands, one I recognized immediately from our time as slaves.

"Agreggio Pavali, there are six bottles of it in the cellar." He turned it over in his hands, dredging up old memories no doubt. "Danarius used to have me pour it for his guests. My appearance intimidated them, he said, which he enjoyed." That was ridiculous; there was nothing wrong with Fenris whatsoever. Even the markings he so despised were perfect.

"I can't imagine why they would be put off..." I felt my cheeks gain color, realizing how brazen that sounded the second it was too late to take it back. How foolish could I get?

I was so afraid he would respond negatively that I refused to look up at him. But instead of an awkward refusal, I heard him chuckle.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I felt my face grow hotter at his words, my cheeks were on fire, and I could tell. My skin prickled as I grew warmer, I was so thoughtless in these circumstances.

Fenris took a long leisurely pull of wine straight from the bottle, shuddering once he swallowed. He was savoring the taste, perhaps finally experiencing what the men he poured it for had.

Suddenly, he turned and hurled the bottle violently at the wall, where it shattered into an uncountable amount of pieces. I watched the wine drip down in tendrils of deep red, certainly staining the paint on the wall.

"It's good I can still take pleasure in the small things." A slight and rare smile found its way to his lips; he was amused by my perplexed expression. I amused nearly everyone in the way I acted, Bethany had found it rather hilarious.

I found myself murmuring out loud. "I know you've had a difficult life." It caused Fenris to look away slightly, the green of his eyes resting on the firelight.

"Yes, and I'd rather not speak more of it."

But I was his friend, he trusted me with most anything that had happened to him, I didn't understand why that didn't apply now. Had his trust run out?

I pressed my lips into a small line as I thought of a way to convince him.

"Fenris, are you certain? You know I'm willing to listen." He chuckled softly again, a sound that was just barely audible.

"To my whining? Very charitable of you." Fenris began to bounce his leg, obviously try to relax himself. Talking about Danarius was never a very pleasant conversation; I knew that he was trying to spare me that.

"I've wanted to leave my past behind, but it won't stay there." He met my eyes in a piercing stare, demanding absolute truth from me. "Tell me, have you never wanted to return to Fereldan?"

I nodded slightly before giving my answer.

"I grew up in Fereldan; so it will always be my first choice in home. But the memories there are too painful for me to revisit." I thought of Bethany's death, of being sold into Tevinter, and the templars always watching. It made me tremble in pathetic regret of my failures.

He was dissatisfied with my meek explanation, so he demanded more of me.

"The Blight is over; you could rebuild what you lost. Do you truly not want to?"

I plunged directly into my answer without a second thought.

"I have people who care for me here; I lacked that kind of luxury in Fereldan." My voice became barely a whisper as I continued timidly. "But…yes, if I could go back, there would be many things I would change."

Fenris's eyes softened in their gaze, and his demand slowly dissipated. He and I shared something that made our friendship special, and though I didn't know what the something was, we made things work.

"I understand." He took a deep breath. "Still, to have the option….it must be gratifying."

Fenris wanted what I had; and it made me think I took it all for granted, like I was throwing away gold. I wasn't like that, I didn't overlook what I had; I just chose not to use it.

"How long have you been running?" I wanted to know how long my freedom had cost him, how much pain he suffered because I escaped from slavery.

"Three years, now." His tone transitioned to bitter, and I prayed it wasn't directed at me, I didn't think I could take it. I felt suddenly unworthy of his company; a person of his lasting emotional stature was too far ahead of me.

Whereas he could handle years of torment and neglect, I broke down at a few petty fights with my family. For all he knew, he had no family to speak of, while I bickered with mine every other day.

"Danarius has a way of finding me, perhaps it is the markings?" He examined his wrist, running his finger over the lyrium brand. A sound of disgust bubbled up from his throat. "Whatever the means, it never takes him long to follow."

He looked up at me with a grateful shimmer to his eyes that erased all feelings of dread. It left me dumbfounded by the rapid change in his attitude, suddenly I could see everything in his eyes, and he was allowing me to see it.

"This is the first time I've given him reason to pause; I suppose there are advantages in numbers."

I couldn't understand his emotions toward me, he was defensive and gentle at the same time, even when I'd known him for so long; he was still guarded. He told me when I was being stubborn; he was my anchor when I needed it. Fenris was my rock, but I had no idea what I was to him.

"Do you intend on living here?" My eyes widened and I coughed uncomfortably. "I don't mean 'here' as in, say, _here_. It's a nice place and all...Maker, I m-mean, do you intend on staying in Kirkwall?"

My shoulders sagged noticeably, I was such an idiot. I guess the alcohol hadn't yet worn off enough for me not to make a fool of myself.

Perfect, it was nearly daylight and I was still drunk. The day feels infinite...

"I haven't decided. For now, it's as good as any other place." He chewed his cheek briefly. "But on better terms of thought, I might stay, for the right reasons."

"What reasons?" I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to ease the lethargy from my body, an action which failed upon start. My limbs ached in a pleading cry for sleep, which I refused to answer at the moment.

Fenris took a deep breath and released it slowly, mulling over my question in silence.

"I don't yet know."

I suppose I could respect that. Hastily given conditions could lead to false hope, for any number of reasons. Sometimes a moment of thought was needed, and questions need no immediate answer.

I could hear birds calling from outside the mansion, their fleeting twitters revealing that they were in mid-flight. I wondered what kind of bird made such a sweet sound.

The mellowness of the room was taking a toll on my alertness. My eyes would close without my knowing, and I would teeter to one side to the point of almost falling. The sound of Fenris talking was lulling me to sleep, his voice was so soothing and calm...

"You need rest, Hawke. The sun has already risen." Fenris stood and wiped off his legs, no doubt that they had been covered in dust. I decided to help clean the mansion sometime, tear up the rest of the tiles and finish what he'd already started.

"Where will I sleep?" I asked, yawning rather loudly. The sun _had _risen, and beams of light peeked through the boarded windows, stinging my eyes with their brightness.

Fenris stood and beckoned me to follow. I was still wobbly when he led me up the stairs and into the master bedroom; I had to lean against the wall while he fetched a blanket and some pillows.

I could tell he was trying for me; Fenris had at least a sliver of information as to my conditions at home, if you could even call it that.

Many might call my views twisted, but I believe I was happier as a slave to Danarius. I wondered at times if he'd forgotten about me, or if he'd sent anyone to try and recover his investment. If so, I'd never had any trouble with hunters like Fenris did, I suppose I just wasn't worth it.

It seems my family is right about at least _one _thing.

I found myself not caring about their opinions as my eyes flickered close, and my breathing began to slow. All the aches in my body dissipated; nothing hurt anymore, emotionally or physically. I was blissfully resting against the wall, and nothing else mattered.

"Hawke?" Fenris's voice was soft and soothing and deep. It forced me to open my eyes and listen to what he needed to say.

When I was finally coherent enough to notice, I saw that his gaze was incredibly peaceful; that the emerald shining in his eyes ignited a serene feeling of contentedness in the air.

It was enough to have him near me again, to know that what he gave was real. His friendship was not imagined, not a fantasy I'd conjured in my loneliness. I reached out and hugged him to me, hearing his gasp when my head rested in the nook of his shoulder.

"Swear that you won't leave, and don't make me leave you. I want you to promise me that." His arms wrapped over my back, giving an attentive squeeze. I felt like a young girl again, and the memory of our last embrace like this brought me to tears, I sniveled as they ran down my cheeks in twin streams.

He ran his palm over my hair, smoothing it down while deftly soothing me.

I could tell he was uncomfortable, the way his muscles tensed on my back said it all. But he tried his best not to show it, he continued trying to quiet me.

"I will not leave."

Everything was innocent in his presence, so pure with no hidden motives. Fenris was everything I could need or possibly want in a friend. He would always be there for me, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

I loosened my grip on him and pulled back to look into his eyes. I saw his sight trained on me, holding me, trusting only me. It made me feel important, like I was needed again.

"Thank you." I whispered while burying my face into him. He rested his chin on my head as his hands kept smoothing back my hair, showing that he required nothing in return from me.

"You need to sleep."

I groaned angrily at him, I didn't want to sleep right now, no matter how badly I needed it. This was perfect, I'd forgotten about my family and about the world. But both were still there, just waiting for me outside this sparkling wonderland. No matter how perfect this moment was they would_ always _be there, simply waiting for the perfection to shatter.

I allowed him to release and show me to the large bed. Fenris placed the blankets and pillows beside me and dipped his head slightly.

"I should, leave now." I nodded with a half smile; he was such a great person to me. His hospitality towards others was, in nicest terms, lacking. But his attitude to those whose company he enjoyed was that of what could be expected, he tried his best to be a gentleman.

Once Fenris left the room and closed the door, I began to drift off to sleep with thoughts of my former life on my mind, which was never a good sign.

* * *

><p>I was surrounded by slave children, their parents out doing various tasks while the young ones were left to the holding cells alone. I had been sent back due to behavioral skirmishes with a few of the actual <em>paid<em> servants in the estate. Being sent to the cell was only the second part of my punishment, I'd been forced to clean the floors by hand and leave not a speck of dust on their fancy tiled manor.

I'd raised hell because one of the servants was complaining about a nasty look the magister apprentice had given her. I'd asked how she'd like it if a nasty look meant you'd get no dinner later, or get whipped, or even raped. She hadn't taken very kindly to my words, but those higher up than she gave me no terrible consequence.

And thus, I sat indifferently in the sorrowful room the rest of the slaves shared with me.

"_I want my momma! Give me my momma!" _One of the children was stirring up a ruckus, and the two watchmen outside the cell were beginning to take notice. The small boy kept on with his tantrum, putting himself in danger of punishment.

"_Quiet you! Don't think I won't get the whips…" _The man's voice was full of icy cold venom; meaning his threat would be carried out if the noise continued. The boy would have none of it, his cries became nothing but louder, and one of the watchmen turned and shot a glare so chilling to the child that he started to bawl out of fear.

I rose to my feet and gathered the struggling child into my arms; his skin covered in little scars that criss-crossed in pale white patterns, no doubt from other incidents with the watchmen. Tears filled the child's eyes, and he buried his head into my chest and cried.

"_Shh." _I rubbed small circles on his back as I had for Bethany back in Fereldan; I knew being a big sister would come in handy some day. His sobs racked his shoulders so severely that it was almost like he was convulsing from his crying.

I had to think of a method to stop the sobbing before he was whipped down raw.

"_Does your mother ever sing to you?" _The boy pulled back and rubbed at his puffy reddening eyes. His face was so covered in dirt that the tears cut pathways through it to reveal rosy cheeks beneath the filth.

He gave me a wary look. "_S-she used to. Why d'you wanna know?" _I re-adjusted myself so that he could sit comfortably in the confines of my lap. The boy was truly rather small, his stubborn attitude pointed to being under the age of eight.

I cleared my throat and prayed that I could remember all the words to the song. It was one my own mother had sung to me when I was younger to help me sleep.

"_Sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."_

His crying stopped but he was still near to it, so I kept singing, using every song I could think of until he was fast asleep in my arms.

Looking around me, several of the other children were also sleeping, and those who weren't looked very calm and relaxed. I'd been singing without rest for what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time, so much so that my legs tingled wildly with the unpleasant feeling of pins and needles.

I carefully laid the boy down on the floor and began to squeeze up and down my calves, trying to get the blood flowing regularly again.

"_Why?" _ I nearly jumped right out of my skin at the sudden voice behind me. Fenris was leant up against the cell wall, scanning the area and seeing the slumbering children.

He looked weary and somewhat pained; his forehead was creased like he had to fight to stay awake. I looked at the boy beside me and began to stroke his long flaxen hair with my fingers.

"_I was afraid the men outside were going to hurt him. I didn't want that for such a lonely little boy." _

Fenris looked down at me as he began to walk in my direction. He sat down beside me and crossed his legs awkwardly.

"_How long have you been there?"_

He shrugged off my question as though it didn't really matter, and I guess it kind of didn't. Fenris was quiet for a moment, and then he glanced at me through the corner of his eye.

"_Teach me." _ I near choked on nothing but air; I had to blink rapidly to regain my composure. Was he asking me what I thought he was?

"_What, the songs?" _He nodded once in confirmation, purpose was threaded into his words. Fenris was seriously asking me to teach him how to sing. This was a moment to be remembered for both comedy and warmth.

"_Alright, we'll start easy." _I breathed deeply. "_My bonny lies over the ocean…."_

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes to pure sunshine flooding into the room, its bright presence startling me. My heart raced in anxiety as memory slowed trickled back into my mind. I was in Fenris's mansion, I wasn't a slave anymore, and the dream I'd had happened long ago. I sighed out of relief.<p>

My head throbbed terribly, it felt like people were screaming in my skull, but I could remember almost all of last night.

That reminded me; I had to give Anders his coat before I forgot all about it. I saw it lain over the back of a chair in the corner of the room, knowing that Fenris must have put it there after I fell asleep.

I lifted the covers and wrapped them around myself, upon putting my feet on the floor; I found that it wasn't nearly as frosty as it had been. It had to be mid afternoon at least if it was that warm.

I grabbed the jacket and opened the door to walk downstairs, being careful not to make too much noise on the creaky floor. I felt sneaky from the fashion I was walking in, it almost made me laugh that I was lurking through the house like a burglar.

I wondered where Fenris had slept that night, seeing as how I obviously stole his bed. It was sort of his fault though; he'd tried everything to get me to stay there.

"Fenris?" I whispered hesitantly. I heard no response, so I continued down the stairs into the makeshift living room.

Curled up against the wall was Fenris, snowy white hair fully covering his eyes. The curtain of hair was barely able to reach his nose, but it found a way to slightly dust over it.

I knelt down beside him and placed the blanket around his shoulders to keep him warm, by the looks of which, he'd be sleeping for a few more hours at least.

I looked down at his face, envying the serene expression that seemed so natural on his features. My fingers found themselves tucking his hair behind his ears; I was startled when the corner of Fenris's mouth quirked up in the slightest and he leaned into my palm.

I pulled back, relieved that he was still fast asleep. I began to search for my things, daggers, hair ribbon, etc., and softly opened the door to leave his mansion. I turned and pulled the door shut with a click, nearly praying that I hadn't disturbed him upon my leaving.

People already filled the Hightown pavement, buzzing with rumors or complaints and rushing about in all directions.

I found myself disgusted with them, I'd slept in an old, deserted mansion and I was disgusted by _people_. It was unbelievable the way nobles acted, and I didn't think I'd ever get used to it.

I began the trek to Darktown in an absolutely foul mood; I swore that if anyone stopped me for something, they'd get a piece of my mind that would make them cry.

I wondered to myself if Mother had noticed that I hadn't made it home yesterday, though I highly doubted it, there was a small piece of me that hoped she had.

From how she acted toward me, I had a million reasons to believe she hated everything that was Daio Hawke. Even after Carver and I had broken into the old estate to find Grandfather's will, she still never considered how hard I would work to see her happy again.

I began to grumble to myself rather angrily, I didn't care if anyone heard me or not, they could shove it where the sun didn't shine. I wanted to kick something until I felt better, and my attitude wasn't anyone else's business.

It seemed I switched emotions like someone might change clothes; it made me ponder how that could affect my sociability.

My best friends included a blood mage that acted like a six year old, an abomination that looked far more handsome than an abomination should be, and a former slave with magical trust issues and an attitude toward the other two friends. My sociability led me to them, and I could decide instantly that it was a good thing.

The rest of the group I'd gathered up was like a family. Aveline played the role of strict mother; Varric was the story telling uncle, Isabela was the seductive, annoying older sister, and I was the glue that made it work.

I honestly wished for a family that cared for me just a third of what my friends did, I would be fine with a god forsaken _third._ But I apparently wasn't going to get that.

When I stopped thinking to myself, I found that I was nearly to Anders's clinic; the lanterns above the doors were visible to me already. I hoped I hadn't said anything embarrassing to him while I was drunk, while I could remember most of it, there were bits and pieces that were still fuzzy.

I knocked gingerly on the thick wooden door, it cracked open just a fraction. I looked through the small opening and saw Anders laying down on one of the many cots spread out throughout the clinic.

I rushed inside, fearing that something had happened to him.

My voice quivered like mad. "A-Anders?"

I put my hand on his shoulder and shook him as hard as I possibly could. My heart was pounding so intensely that I could hear it in my ears; the worry that accompanied the heartbeat was so strong that it churned my stomach.

Anders sat straight up. "Maker almighty, what is it?" He yawned, rubbing his eyes and focusing sluggishly on me. I took an awkward step away from him, face growing hot.

"I had believed….you weren't moving…dammit" He smiled at me and chuckled softly, it seemed he enjoyed the baffled expression on my face.

Anders thought that my reaction was _cute_? I was worried _sick!_

I rolled my eyes dramatically. "Ugh, take your coat so I may leave." I threw the jacket into his face with a giggle; Anders pulled it away and placed the feathered monstrosity rightfully on his shoulders.

I took a closer look at his face and felt a familiar sense of sympathy well up in my stomach. His eyes had dark circles staining the skin underneath them and his jaw was lined with unkempt stubble. He had a lost kitten look that made him seem almost vulnerable.

"Are you feeling well Anders?" I sat down beside him and nudged is shoulder with mine. I was an absolute failure when it came to comforting someone, but I would damn well try.

He looked at me through the corner of his eye and nearly grinned.

"Are you, Maker forbid, worried?" Anders's laugh was shallow and forced, I'd never seen him like this before; it was almost as if he wasn't himself.

My voice was unnecessarily soft. "I should let you sleep." I turned to leave, and felt him grasp my hand hard enough to hurt.

He pulled me back down so I was shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee with him. I felt strange, like I was worried for him and apprehensive at the same time. I'd never had that combination of emotion before, I wanted to help, but I couldn't override my instinct in order to get closer.

"Hawke, I need to talk with you." He was blank, absolutely stoic; this was _nothing _like the Anders I knew.

He was supposed to be humorous and jesting with a reserve of sensibility and decency, not the mass of vacant flesh that sat like a statue before me.

I would not have this.

"Then speak, if you very well must, but try to show emotion on that pretty little face of yours." I was sick of his dancing around things, of _everyone _dancing around things; I wanted a straightforward answer for once in my hellish life.

"Who is that man to you?" His voice was steely and harsh, like he was infuriated with me. His knuckles were white in their grip around my wrist, but despite the pain, I didn't struggle….yet.

I was taken aback by his sudden change in personality, and furthermore, how was Fenris any business of his?

I breathed slowly through my nose, trying not to explode in a violent and blind rage. That would be quite counterproductive, in my point of view anyway.

"Why do you care?" I wrenched my arm away from him, using his surprise to stand up and move from the cot. Anders continued to sit there, unfazed by my burst of anger.

He just stared up with his honey-brown eyes, piercing through my defenses and looking directly into me. His profound intrusion was unwelcomed; I didn't want him, or anyone, to see my insecurities.

"Who is he to you?" Anders stood, towering over me, though I didn't sense much aggression in the stance.

I narrowed my eyes at him and clenched my fists. I was so close to punching him that my fingers actually twitched at my sides in yearning.

I decided to toy with him, see if I could get him to stop this strange behavior.

"Why, whoever do you mean?" The sarcastic venom in my voice was so thick that Anders flinched away slightly, which was a point of victory. I blinked and he was already back to his blank demeanor, why was he able to recover so easily?

"The elf, I believe his name is Fenris, what does he mean to you?" His eyes flared momentarily. "Has he swayed you from magic?"

I raised my brows at him in utter shock, he was asking about my views on magic? I was a mage, what other side could I be on?

"Fenris is exactly what I'm about to say; F-R-I-E-N-D. He wouldn't try to change me, or my views." I looked him in the eyes. "Even if I don't act as one, I am a mage. I stand with mages; it would be like mutiny if I didn't."

His stance lessened, and I saw more color pour into his eyes, lighting them with his usual warmth. It was like all that was Anders had suddenly returned as quickly as it had gone. It was exactly what happened when he saw that Karl had been made Tranquil…

I felt a jolt of realization rush down my spine.

It _hadn't _been Anders.

Because Justice had been in control.

I staggered backward a little; astonishment literally pushed the wind from my lungs. I'd known about Justice, he was a spirit trapped outside of the Fade, and Anders made a terrible mistake led by good intention.

I was told something along the lines of them being one, that each thought was shared in the mind, I hadn't known that Justice could take over at any time. I thought it was only around templars that he could control Anders.

But that's just it, isn't it? They both think that Fenris is going to take me away from magic, or that he's going to make me hate mages. When had Fenris and Anders even talked about magic? I heard everything they said in the Hanged Man, none of it concerned magic.

_Think Daio, think!_

They had gone to Uncle's earlier that day looking for me, Mother told them to look at Merrill's or the Hanged Man. They had nearly the whole afternoon to begin hating each other, but how did that involve my magical standing?

Anders took a step toward me, pure worry painting his face, or was it Justice's face? I wanted to believe that it wasAnders staring at me, but did I know if Justice was judging me as we spoke?

I was ignoring absolutely everything that told me neither one would ever harm me. I'd seen what Justice could do to templars, and they were _trained_ to handle magic.

I was a fellow mage, exactly what both sides of the man stood for, but how did I know Justice wouldn't force Anders to hurt me?

"Hawke, I didn't know you were a mage." He took another step toward me. "I had a feeling, but I didn't want to call you out on it."

I didn't respond to his sentences, my vocal chords wouldn't even let me try.

"Why won't you look at me?" I refused to see him; I saw a shell being filled by a part of the Fade that had too much control.

I was terrified of someone who I called a friend.

"I can't…I have to go." I almost sprinted to the door; sheer panic forced me to walk from the clinic without looking back. I knew I would see Anders looking confused and hurt in the doorway if I glanced over my shoulder.

I was willing to leave him behind just to spare myself from Justice; I was abandoning Anders to save myself. I was a terrible, terrible person.

How could something like that happen? How could something that small force Justice into action?

I didn't think I could handle the answer, even if I wanted to know, it might force me further away from Anders. He shouldn't be left in the dark like that, I just needed to calm down a little; I could talk to him about it later.

Why did the very thought of that scare me so much? I had never been even slightly wary of Anders before today.

I was Hawke, fearless and tough with a bottomless supply of courage… and I was terrified of someone who had owned a cat named Ser-Pounce-A-Lot.

My day was on a fast track straight into hell, not even a half of an hour after waking up and I'm already exhausted with it all. Dealing with people was incredibly tiring, couldn't they go a day without bothering me with demonic possession, being kidnapped, or having a thirst for murder? No? I really didn't think so.

And on top of all that, how pathetic could I possibly get? I was afraid of Anders, _Anders, _of all people!Would I next be cringing at small bunnies? Or would it be newborn babies?

I shook away the thoughts in my head and continued walking with no destination. I simply didn't care where I went, I was well rested, scared out of my mind, and walking around in a place with a high likelihood of getting robbed.

I reached into my pocket and wrapped Bethany's ribbon gently around my fingers; I don't even feel like putting up my hair today, which says something is wrong.

Depression? Psh, _nah! _Maybe I'm just a little hungry?

I would kill for some pie right about now, nice, warm, and fresh pie. Apple would be great, maybe with a little chocolate on the crust. I wondered where I could find some, did Aveline bake? If she did, then I could guilt her into it, use my puppy eyes, stick out my lip a little. That pie would be as good as mine.

Maker, now I'm drooling. Curse this city and its pieless ways!

Sweets have always been a way of dealing with things for me; nothing made me feel better than a piece of rich chocolate or a batch of warm pastries. At least I wasn't addicted to lyrium or alcohol or anything like that, sweets were all I needed to be chipper and happy.

I was getting myself worked up, Aveline probably couldn't bake, and I didn't know of anyone else that even might. I would have to hunt, for sweets.

Let the quest begin.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

**Hello my lovelies! I've been in a weird sappy mood lately, so I decided to make a certain beloved slave the same way. Also, Daio finds some strange candies, from Antiva! A place of spice and surprise, what will they do to our cheeky little Hawke? Just a silly chapter to unwind with. I hope you enjoy, and I'd like to ask you to tell any fellow Dragon Agers about my story. Sorry to bother you, review and read Dawn's ****fanfictions!**

_Fenris POV_

Why was she so perfect? Why couldn't I just be happy with what companionship she saw fit to give me?

Hawke had let me hold her, soothe her worries and sorrows, but I couldn't be satisfied with it. I needed more, craved it even.

The way she fit perfectly within my arms was near divine; to know she felt what I did for even a moment had been heavenly. When I'd released her, I was forced back into reality.

A reality in which she saw nothing more in me; it was a torture worse than any I'd been subject to. I could allow it eventually, to see her smiling would sustain me in life. Though I wished I wouldn't, I knew I would always yearn for more.

I raised my palms to my face and stared into them weakly, knowing any sleep I'd found before was lost to me now.

What could I offer her? I couldn't yet tell myselfwhatI could give to her, how would I even _begin_ to reciprocate the joy she would bring me? Daio couldn't be happy with me, but I found it impossible to force away thoughts of a life together from my mind's eye.

_I_ decided as an act in my freedom to be there for her, I brought myself here, so had it been my own fault? I racked my thoughts manically to find a solution.

I could never leave her, not after I'd sworn to be near her always. As it was, my chances of a happy life without her were incredibly slim; Daio would never wish to be with me, or could I be wrong? I was absolutely lost in my questions.

I glared upward to the ceiling's dusty white paint, its cracked surface glared back at me. All of these thoughts had started with something as simple as her smile. She had taken my very breath away.

A smile of my own forced its presence on my lips.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Quick note for you, this happened a little while before Fenris asked Hawke to teach him the songs.<strong>_

* * *

><p>I hadn't eaten in days; Hadriana had used fear to keep the guards from presenting me with any means of nourishment. She'd had me locked away in a solitary cell meant for slaves who'd displeased those in a higher rank, I'd been alone for as long as I hadn't eaten.<p>

My stomach burned my insides like fire, trying to quiet it would do me no justice.

"_If we're lucky, he'll tear out your innards. We won't have to deal with your snotty antics any longer."_

Outside my confinement was Hadriana's voice; she'd someone else who'd earned punishment.

I clenched my eyes close as another wave of hunger flowed freely through my body. The agony was unbearable, I was silently praying for death to claim me at this point.

"_I don't see why Danarius holds you in such high regards. You're a little bitch, as far as I can see."_

There was a brief silence, followed by a challenge in authority.

"_Look at you calling the kettle black, are you feeling a little cocky? Gut me, go against him, and see how long it takes for your master to burn you at the stake."_

I was bewildered; it as if the world ceased movement for an instant. Everyone within earshot was undoubtedly listening to the exchange.

There was the sudden, unmistakable sound of hand against cheek that seemed to resonate throughout the cells. A silent praise was shared for the slave-girl's audacity to defy Hadriana.

"_Get your ass in the cell, Fereldan brat."_

I barely glanced up when the door opened and a girl shuffled awkwardly into my view. It was the same girl I'd escorted back to the estate when Danarius had bought her. I wondered faintly if she recognized me.

Her short black hair hung in wisps around her pale face like a frame. On her cheek was a handprint that had already taken the steps to bruise, it would be there for days at the very least.

At that moment, I noticed the tray of food in her hands, steam rose from the tray in enticing tendrils, making my stomach twist in need.

I nearly collapsed, lurching forward and hissing as the hunger took its dreadful toll. I didn't believe movement was possible. The energy it required would put an end to me.

The girl took a sharp intake of breath, and she was beside me in an instant. She set the tray down next to her knees as she propped me up in her lap.

My eyes were entranced upon the tray; my mind too weak to decipher what manner of food was so close to my grasp, all I knew is that it would end my pain.

I reached out with a trembling hand, struggling to hold the utensils necessary in order to eat. The metal tool slipped through my clumsy fingers like liquid water, and I watched in despair as it clattered onto the cold stone floor.

It simply lay there, mocking me with its shimmering gleam; it was like a cheeky grin on the face of a badly misbehaved child. I scowled at the food, but trying to will the strength back into my bones was never my best option.

Then again, I lacked any sort of abundance in opportunity. The girl would do as any other, she'd let me die while she ate with a pleasant smile on her face.

I let my eyes drift close, feeling myself sink deeper into her arms in pure defeat. I didn't care that she was touching me, I didn't care that my markings were throbbing from the contact. I just wanted to escape this world, if I would die, it would be with dignity.

"_Open up." _Her voice was barely audible, but insistent and somehow firm. I opened my eyes to see the spoon posed at my lips, waiting for entrance.

It was like a dream, I felt if I opened my mouth, everything would disappear. I would be alone in my cell again, dying from the hunger.

I hesitantly opened my mouth; feeling the cold metal settle against my tongue. She tipped the spoon upward, sliding the food into my mouth and down my throat without pause.

I let go of a shaky breath as the warmth filled me. I _wasn't_ going to die; this girl was going to save me.

"_What is...your n-name." _The words were unsteady and raspy, sadly being all I could muster at the time. I could scarcely comprehend my own sentence; perhaps she would interpret a shred of the broken nonsense.

"_Daio Hawke. Your name is Fenris, right?" _My head dipped a fraction in an attempt to provide an answer; I was far past the point of overeager for more food to be presented.

She repeated the slow process of spoonful after spoonful until the tray was completely bare. I could spare the energy to move from her lap to the wall in order to give both Hawke and myself space.

The hunger had been stayed slightly, though I would not refuse more if offered. She would go hungry now, and the realization made guilt show its ugly presence.

"_I appreciate this." _My embarrassment was rather obvious, so much so that I couldn't meet her eyes.

A soft sound, a laugh I believe, bubbled out of her throat. It stunned me for a moment.

"_It's no trouble, I was glad to help you."_

My heart skipped a beat at the smile she let me see. The warmth radiated a thousand times greater than fire from the simple expression gracing her lips. It was astounding, the laugh, the girl, everything.

She was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen, and it was so easy for her to be that way.

Daio Hawke. I knew even then that I would remember the name.

* * *

><p>It did nothing less than surprise me. Plain admiration had grown and flourished into what Daio and I now shared today. A slight smile said volumes in the place of spoken words; a touch could comfort and promise things that the lies of language had diluted.<p>

Our sense of communication was shared and understood between the lone speakers.

In spite of my less than pleasant mood, I had tasks that required doing. My armor would need mending; the damage I'd sustained hadn't harmed my skin alone. The shade had sliced a path through the adornment I called armor.

I'd not an idea of where a proper mender was in this Kirkwall. You could lose your way trying to find a means of getting home in this cursed city.

I peeled the armor from my skin, careful not to scrape the stitches in my flesh. It seemed I had a while to work away; an exploration would give me an indication of the layout of Kirkwall.

I gathered my armor and placed it inside a weathered leather knapsack for safekeeping. I placed the sack near the base of the stairway and ascended the steps to the master bedroom.

In a small wooden chest were silken tunics I reserved for special occasions. I hadn't quite decided what those occasions happened to be, but the clothing had yet to be worn.

I pulled the grey-blue covering over my shoulders, it was soft and supple, the cloth moved as I did. It provided the freedom of comfortable movement.

I quickly descended the stairs and hauled the back pack over my shoulders, careful not to scrape my stitches. They hadn't pained me nearly as much as I'd imagined they would, it was only a dull pain in my shoulder-blades.

I opened the door of the mansion and stepped outside into the overly crowded afternoon. The sun set immediately to its task of burning my eyes, while boarded windows provided privacy, they made one vulnerable to brightness.

I used the palm of my hand as a shield and squinted into the city. Hightown would be far too costly for what little coin I possessed; Lowtown would have the best options in menders.

I readjusted the backpack and began my tedious search with a grimace.

_Daio POV_

Has anyone ever felt a euphoric sense of relaxation after eating their weight in chocolate? If this kind of thing hasn't happened before, I think I've just created a new phrase…'chocolate drunk.'

I'd found an exotic candies shop where they sold every sweet known to man up in Hightown. I was mesmerized, like a kid in a candy store…ha ha.

But in all honesty, I'd never even _considered _all the uses for something as simple as sugar. It can do almost anything, I found these little round tablets that are supposed to change your mood.

I think each color represents a different mood, but the explanation is written in Antivan and it took every ounce of my listening ability to understand even a shred what the shop keeper told me. I was only able to hear mood, candy, and sweet. So it's really not much at all.

I lifted my hefty bag of sugared heaven and almost giggled. Any trouble I'd had before was long gone; I couldn't be angry if someone came up and punched me right in the stomach. I would probably just smile and wave at them.

I popped a white tablet into my mouth and chewed it experimentally; it had a chalky and dry sort of texture, but with a slight hint of sweetness. It was nothing at all like I'd expected it to be, I had thought it would be taste like fruit and be a little chewy.

It left my mouth tasting somewhat like powdered sugar, I liked it, but I doubted that it would actually change my mood.

I decided I had enough with me to share a few pieces with Merrill, I wondered to myself if she'd ever had sweets. She acted as though she was seven, but had she ever done what a seven-year-old would?

I picked up my pace, hoping that Merrill hadn't gone anywhere yet that day. Faces blended together as I sprinted down a flight of stairs and turned a sharp corner.

The momentum of the sweets flung me forward with incredible force, so much so that the stitching on the bottom of the cloth bag broke open, making candy fly in all directions.

I slammed into something on the other side of the corner and toppled over, accompanied by the clatter of metal on the ground. People stopped to watch and murmur quietly on the sidelines but didn't think to help in the slightest. Stupid assholes…

I rubbed my temples with a low groan and tried to see with my fuzzy vision, everything was positively blurry. My head lolled slightly to the front as I pushed myself off the ground and stood up shakily.

"Hey, are you alright? I'm so sorry; I should've looked where I was going." My apology was directed to where I believed my fellow klutz landed, but I couldn't quite tell if they had heard me or not.

I wiped at my eyes fiercely and blinked a few times to get my sight back on the right track. I saw armor and bags of candy scattered haphazardly across the ground, I scrambled to reclaim my sweets before anyone else could see them.

They were all intact, not a single pinch of sugar was out of its place. I'd spent so much money on the candy, I would have been furious if it had all gone to waste. I kept examining the bags just in case I'd missed a rip or left a pack on the ground.

There was a slight chuckle from my right.

"Hawke?"

I looked over to the origin of the voice and nearly fell back onto the ground. Fenris was holding out one of my candies for me to take back, his brow half raised. It was my mood candy in his hand.

I nearly grinned as I leapt at him, landing in his arms and catching him very much off guard. He tensed up briefly and then proceeded to smile at me.

"We meet like this often it seems." I took my bag and nodded agreeably in response.

One of the sugar tablets fell into my hand from the opening I'd made in the bag; the candy was a sensual red color, also very bold and eye-catching.

"Would you do something for me if I asked you to?" I rolled the candy between my fingers slowly and waited for his answer.

"I...would, yes." He eyed me warily but with a reserved hint of humor in his voice. Fenris had always trusted me when it came to just about anything, I hadn't led him wrong….yet.

"Eat this."

I placed the candy into his palm and curled his fingers around it. He took a single glance at it and swallowed the little red tablet with a grimace, Fenris obviously expected much worse than he had gotten.

"What did it taste like?" I asked, watching his face for a reaction.

Fenris bent down and picked up a piece of armor without answering my question. I got the clue and began to help him pick everything off of the ground.

I grabbed a piece of metal with a gash two inches wide in the back; I realized instantly what it had been from, but said nothing at all. I silently thanked the Maker that the armor had taken the brunt of the shade's anger.

"It had a spicy taste, but it had also been sweet. I can't think of a proper word to describe it." Fenris said, taking the pieces of armor I'd picked up and placing them in a sack.

I think he meant cinnamon. The candy must've tasted somewhat like cinnamon.

I gathered all the candy into my arms and stood slowly, careful not to spill any of it. The tooth-rotting goodness was my pride and joy at the moment, and I'd be damned if I dropped it all again.

I'd raise hell about the weak cloth bags the next time I was in the area, shopkeepers beware…

"I suppose I'll see you sometime later." I began to struggle with my sugary burden, moving packs of candy this way and that in an attempt to see. I didn't have a clue how I would get to all the way to Lowtown if I couldn't even see.

A few packages were gently taken from my arms.

"I will accompany you. I suspect we are heading in the same general direction as it is." I didn't argue with him, because what he said had been true. If Fenris was getting armor repaired, the cheapest and fastest way to get it done was Lowtown.

On a side note, arguing with Fenris would get me positively nowhere, so silently agreeing made everyone happier all around.

People eyed us, their gaze traveling from Fenris, to me, and back to Fenris. They all seemed moderately stunned at something; was there a giant dragon behind us? Because that was the only sane explanation I saw fit for the staring.

I wanted to throw a rock at them, if only to stop their god awful gawking, what was so damn interesting about a man and a woman walking together?

Did they think we were a couple or something? Fenris didn't even think of me that way. From what I could understand, I was his closest and most trusted friend, nothing more and nothing less.

I mean, don't get me wrong, he's handsome to the point of swooning, but he _didn't_ think of me that way, right? What if he does feel that way, and I'm just that emotionally dense toward the opposite gender?

That couldn't be it; I'd have to be _extremely _dense to miss those kinds of feelings over the amount of time we'd spent together. I'd never had any experience with men, but I wasn't completely oblivious to them, was I?

I looked at Fenris from the corner of my eye, and thought about it for a bit. He'd been nothing but kind to me, not once lied to me, a pairing between us would be….logical.

What am I _thinking? _We're not a scientific experiment, if he wanted to get closer to me; all he would have to do is show interest.

Fenris moved his head a fraction of an inch and caught my eyes on him. He said nothing, but a slowly enigmatic smile spread over his face.

I gasped slightly and glued my gaze to the ground beneath my feet, hoping that he hadn't thought badly of my brief admiration.

"S-sorry_." _My words were mumbled quickly and quietly, almost complete gibberish.

If he hadn't heard my rushed apology, I would take it as a blessing. Maybe he hadn't seen me staring; maybe he'd just smiled for the sake of smiling

"I don't mind. By all means."

Was Fenris…flirting with me? Was he glad I'd looked at him?

I shook my head as a 'no', responding to my own unspoken question with an unspoken answer. I didn't think it was that strange, really. No one could answer and truthfully as the one who'd asked.

I was fooling myself, making up things to think over, and pulling Fenris into it was just wrong of me. I was making my own drama to keep myself occupied outside of the manic fighting, arguing, and tragedy.

I couldn't do that to him, I also couldn't let him see the less than sane side of my thinking. One thought led to another, which led to another. Suddenly, my philosophy would state that fish could talk.

And that was on a good day.

* * *

><p>We continued on in silence with each other, the only sound were those around us, all<p>

talking in one constant buzz.

Fenris and I stopped and looked inside small shops, potion stands, trinket makers and such. I was fascinated by the people who ran the shops; each one relied on another's money and need for their very own craft. It was like a scale; even one thing out of place threw the entire process off.

After about ten minutes, we had found our way to the armories and tanners. I looked at each tunic and vest, wondering what Fenris would look like in commoner clothing. He fit in perfectly in what he wore now; in fact, the calmness of the blue suited him.

Fenris himself was a free man now; I wondered why he still found the need to put his safety in the way of danger when he could live happily as any other man might.

"I should be going now." I said looking off toward the Alienage; I could see it from where we presently stood.

Fenris denied my statement firmly.

"Allow me to find an armorer, and I will join you." Before I could say another word, Fenris disappeared into the crowd, leaving me in a sea of unfamiliar faces.

I was at a disadvantage, not only did he have some of my sweets, but finding him in the people was out of the question, and going off to the Alienage without him would leave me feeling rather guilty.

I had no choice but to stand, and wait patiently for his return, however long it may take. I found out very quickly that I had chosen the wrong option.

"Mother look! Candies!"

"Hats for sale!"

"Soft silks, fine fabrics! Best in Kirkwall!"

I exhaled a breath angrily, all the screaming and yelling was irritating me like nothing else could, and I dealt with Carver and Isabela on a daily basis without pulling my hair from my head.

The more I tried to block it out and ignore it, the louder the noise got. It was a continuous roar in my ears that refused to stop until I felt like screaming.

After a few grueling minutes of pointless market nonsense, Fenris's snowy white hair made an appearance from a nearby armor stand. He maneuvered his way between those in the line of his path, still carrying my bags of candy in his hand.

He laced his arm gently in-between mine once he was close enough, and pulled me very close to his side. I was so close to him that I could feel the softness of the clothing he wore.

"Where is it you wanted to go?" He asked, staring off into the crowd absent mindedly.

I stared up at him while I had the chance; the sun was shining just perfectly in which to illuminate his features. His soft white hair laid gently across his forehead and cast a somewhat foreboding shadow over his eyes.

The markings on his chin let loose a slight blue glow against the shadow of his hair; it added an almost mystical feature to Fenris's already charming appearance. I found myself hopelessly entranced in every movement he made.

"Daio?" He met my eyes and managed to hold them, his soft and alluring tone kept me holding onto his every word. I'd never looked at him in this way; he would sparkle if he were any more perfect.

I struggled to answer him, but the feeling of shame over the butterflies in my stomach prevented me from saying a word.

I couldn't honestly say that I'd ever felt like this around anyone, I wanted him to never look at another woman like he was looking at me now.

"M-Merrill's home. In the Alienage, let's, um, go there okay?" Fenris smiled slightly, and I almost melted right there and then, I would have been a big puddle of star-struck Hawke.

"As you wish."

I exhaled gratefully as we started course for the Alienage. Any longer and I would have said something stupid to ruin the moment we'd had.

I was easily flustered when it came to flirting, I would either lose my ability to speak, or blush uncontrollably. I looked like a ripe tomato, or so I was told.

Fenris and I walked down the stairs into the small elven district of Kirkwall. Secretly, I'd always found the place absolutely brilliant, the ancient tree in the center gave an aura of magic and wonderment to the area around it, almost like it felt a need to brighten the sadness that surrounded its home.

I pointed out Merrill's home as we neared it. It was quite possibly the newest building in the Alienage, and it still looked well worn, even by my standards.

I knocked repeatedly on Merrill's heavy wooden door, waiting eagerly for her to open it and greet me. I couldn't wait to see the look of joy when she tried her first candy, maybe I would give her a sour one, just to see her face scrunch up.

The door shifted slightly before swinging back, Merrill stood in the doorway with a wide smile. She leapt forward and embraced me, expressing her happiness by crushing my lungs like an overly-tight corset.

Fenris pulled Merrill from me and glared at her angrily, I slapped his hand half jokingly and led him inside the house with my mage friend by my side.

"What brings you here, Hawke? Varric told me you were drinking, aren't you tired?" She took my candies and examined them with a creased brow. She turned the packages over and cocked her head to the side slightly.

"What are these?" Merrill asked curiously, ripping a wrapper open and biting into a thick bar of chocolate.

I hadn't a chance to answer her initial question before she had every candy splayed out on her small table in a rainbow of sugar. She picked out an assortment from a few different bags and ate mouthful after mouthful; I would _never_ take her to a poisons shop without wiring her mouth shut first.

"These are _so_ good!" Merrill began bouncing on her heels, already feeling the effects of her very first sugar high. Fenris's face showed pure disapproval, his mouth twisted into an ugly, annoyed scowl.

Merrill was precious, how could he not absolutely love her? I knew I did, if this was what she'd do, I would save up money for candy every month, just to see her so happy.

I snuck away from Merrill briefly and pulled Fenris down to my level. Surprising to me, he met my gaze evenly, not even a pinch of amusement could be found.

"Why does she bother you so? I think she is the cutest thing in Kirkwall." I whispered urgently, looking back at my cluelessly cheerful friend.

Fenris snaked his arm around my waist and watched Merrill for a moment.

"I worry about the company you keep." He bent down farther to lay a kiss on my forehead, I knew my eyes had widened nearly to the size of saucers when I felt his lips on my skin.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I left a slight joke about Twilight in this chapter (I don't own Twilight, no lawsuits!) Now, can you guess what mood candy Fenris got? Leave your thoughts in the reviews, and also, should the rest of the gang get a few candies of their own? If so, what mood would you like to see for which character?<strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

**Hey guys, hope you liked the last chapter, sorry this took so long. But, I've been thinking, I haven't quite gotten the cat names I need for the next chapter, so if you could, put a few in a review could you? I rhymed for you, now you HAVE to. Well..yeah, leave a review telling me if it was good or bad, and what you'd like to see for the next chapter.**

_Daio POV_

His lips found themselves planted firmly against my forehead; and every second that ticked by filled me with a feeling of tenderness and security that made it hard to breathe. Something so simple and small sent questions whizzing through my head in a flurry of realization.

Fenris had felt and hidden so much more than he'd led me to believe.

It was so head-slappingly obvious to me now, all the shyness I felt when he touched my hand or hugged me to him, the quiet moments when he thought I didn't know he was looking at me, it all made sense.

I pulled my head back hesitantly, simply to see if what I'd thought was true, if he really did feel something for me.

Fenris's eyes were filled with determination and warmth, but I could also see the fear of rejection behind the calm façade he put up, he was ready for whatever I could throw at him, whether it be rejection, or acceptance.

It _was _true, I realized, it had been true for much longer than I'd ever know. The years I spent missing him, and the years he spent missing me, they had meant different things to us when we were children, but it all fit together now. The pieces fell into perfect alignment, even more so than a puzzle could ever hope to.

These realizations made me think of every time I could've noticed this, the sheer amount of chances caused wave after wave of guilt to flow through my stomach and mind. All this time he kept trying to guide me from a distance, anticipating the moment when I saw it, when I figured out the big picture and could finally see what was in front of me.

I was…scared, no, I was _terrified, _of what might happen if I were to do something to destroy this moment. I couldn't reject him, something told me that my life would be misery if I did, but very, very small part of my being was uncertain as to what course of action to take.

Everything, rational or otherwise, seemed to shut down and leave me lost in the dark. There was no concern for where it might lead me, no fear to stop me in my tracks, my body did what it wanted to, and surprisingly, I had no objections.

My fingers timidly snaked into his hair and pulled his lips to mine with gentle ease.

There was an initial moment of shock when his lips refused to move, and mine did the same. It felt like a dream, something so surreal and strange and foreign that it couldn't be real.

But Fenris knew it was true, he knew what I'd started was real, but even then, his fingers held tenderly to my neck, as though afraid I'd disappear if he let me go.

As the moment dragged out, I found myself amazed by his gentle touching and slow movements. He made sure I felt what he did, showing me how frightening and exhilarating it was to kiss someone so important and vital to you.

It was simply incredible how right it felt to kiss Fenris. After all the time we'd spent together as friends, I'd at first thought something like this would be uncomfortable and embarrassing, but it was quite the opposite of that.

It was soft and sweet and heavenly, our lips moved together in a perfect, slow rhythm that was easy for us, and only us, to keep.

I could see why girls of my age dreamed of this very moment every night and day, it was life-changing.

He cupped my face in his palms as I melted into him; I found myself leaning into his touch as much as I could, I was craving the contact. I wondered how many times he'd done this, and with who, because his experience far exceeded my own. Which I suppose didn't say much really, I'd never kissed a man before, or anyone for that matter.

It was entirely new to me, but Fenris tried his damnedest to make it spectacular.

We pulled apart, both needing a breath of air but still reluctant to stop what we'd started.

His fingertips ghosted slowly over my cheek, making me shiver and turning my legs effectively to jelly.

He pulled his eyes from mine and looked over at Merrill; his strained expression asked if she'd seen us. I highly doubted it, with all the sugar she'd just ingested, I was surprised she wasn't hallucinating of leprechauns and mermaids, or whatever it was that a person like Merrill might think about.

Even if she had seen, I wouldn't care. Fenris was every breath and heartbeat that hummed in my body, once you'd found the person you needed, they meant the world to you, they were everything.

I gazed up at him, studying every aspect of his appearance. He was content and happy; there was nothing wrong in his world. I was positively mystified by him; Fenris was the sort of man that only existed in lore, gentlemanly, careful, and tender.

He made my vision hazy simply by speaking, his absence forced me to miss every word and thing I wouldn't hear him say or do. I leaned further into his chest, craving the tingly feeling I got in my lower stomach when he held me.

I was _incredibly _lucky to have him.

"Hawke…"

Fenris snapped me out of my dreamy state and laid a kiss to the corner of my mouth, purposefully avoiding the mouth-to-mouth kiss I wanted. I felt a burning need for him to give me skin to skin contact, anything else was insufficient.

I tugged insistently on his sleeve, but he was taking his time for a reason, apparently feeling bold and fearless. There was a motive for his actions, to which he would not elaborate.

"Be still, don't speak." He said as his hand rested on the small of my back. The area under his hand tingled strangely, like it was eager for his touch.

My body began to feel fuzzy and warm as his lips pressed down on my neck, forehead, nose, and both of my closed eyes.

I felt his soft breath against my lips, and my own parted slightly with undeniable anticipation.

I let out a small groan, begging him to stop teasing me and let his lips touch mine again.

"Hawke? What are you and Fenris doing?" Merrill's timing was always impeccably terrible; I wanted to metaphorically 'strangle' her at the moment.

Her childishly adorable manner made it impossible to be truly mad at her, but that didn't mean the inner me wouldn't at least try to be a little irritated.

"Nothing Merrill, my armor strap came undone, Fenris was trying to fix it." The elf mentioned tried in vain to hide a devilish smirk, one that I'd never seen executed so perfectly. It made me smile at him, which seemed to confuse Merrill slightly.

"What if that happened in a fight? How embarrassing!" She giggled to herself while reaching for another candy, one I recognized as a mood candy.

I decided to just let her have them all. Even though I still wanted to test another Antivian mood sweet, she enjoyed them, and I was as happy as I could possibly be at the moment, so the sweets had lost their appeal for the time being.

Fenris placed his arm around my hip and pulled me toward the door insistently, but this time, _he _would have to wait, proper payback for his tease.

I unwrapped his arm from around me and hugged Merrill, warning her to not eat all the candy in one day; I feared she would become sick from too much sugar, which I suppose would be her fault for not listening.

I waved goodbye and stepped outside with Fenris impatiently trying to hurry me along. To be perfectly honest, I'd no idea why he was in such a hurry, we had plenty of time before the sun went down.

"What's so damn important?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

He just stared at me with a blank expression, like I'd done something absolutely stupid; it was making me just the slightest bit angry.

I flicked his nose with my fingers, treating him like a naughty puppy for not answering me. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' Didn't he know that?

"I've no desire to be so close to that mage." I could tell he was lying, or at least avoiding my current question, but I wouldn't push the subject. I would let him be, even if doing so annoyed me greatly.

_Fenris POV_

Her lips were sweet, not much different from sugar, but still unlike it. The word refused to make itself known; she had tasted sugary, but not overly so. It was a fruit somewhere; and it wasn't very common in the Free Marches, or even Tevinter. It grew in Seheron, somewhere warm.

She tasted akin to a mango.

I didn't know if I had imagined it, or if it was a natural flavor she simply possessed, but Daio had tasted somewhat like a mango. Sweet, but with substance, it was addicting.

I couldn't believe it, she kissed me like I imagine she would've kissed any other man, but it was as though it meant more than a simple kiss.

Daio had been just as surprised as I was, though I was more astonished at the fact that I'd had the audacity to press my lips to her forehead, but it led to something great. I had been less than pleased in the place we'd done so in, I held no trust for the blood mage friend of Daio's.

I felt the same for the other mage she knew, the man named Anders. He gave me an unpleasant urge to maim him, preferably with a fist or heavy object…

"Fenris?" Daio ran her fingertips over my knuckles, making my heart skip a beat.

I intertwined my fingers with hers and drew small circles just below her thumb, an apology for acting so rashly. She smiled at me in return.

I understood that the blood mage was her friend; and though I couldn't say that I cared for her choice in company, _I_ happened to be one of her unusual friends as well.

"I have some things to do, would you like to come with me?" Daio leaned into me as we began to walk. Did she even have to ask?

I nodded curtly, but not in the rude sense. Just a single, brief nod was what sufficed as my answer. Simple gestures such as that seemed to make her the happiest, not complicated conversation and cliché heroic agreements. A nod could say volumes.

Her demeanor told me she was pleased, but I had to wonder what manner of errand needed running that required myself to be along.

I found myself in a really pleasant mood, more than pleasant actually, possibly gleeful.

As we walked around Lowtown, we began an interesting conversation of great swords versus dueling daggers. She argued that daggers were fast and easy to conceal in even the smallest of places, which I suppose I couldn't argue with. But great swords weren't restricted to violent uses only.

"Though great swords and mauls may have no practicality in stealth, they seem to persuade a man as easily as a silver tongue." I was not exactly the best when it came to convincing inn owners to lower their prices, but my weapons did that work for me.

"I understand that, but if they it's surprise and speed you _need, _how will you do it?" She thought she had me caught, but I had my ways of winning arguments.

"If you also need strength and power, how do you get that?"

Daio frowned.

"Touché."

I chuckled at her and rubbed the top of her head with my palm. She made an irritated grunt and rolled her eyes, it made me happy to know the jesting side of us wouldn't be lost to awkwardness.

I had been unsure how kissing her might affect everything else pertaining to Daio and I, but it had turned out rather well. It was as if nothing had changed, but we knew, that in a way, it had.

I was no longer afraid of an accidental confession of what I'd felt for her, I was almost completely sure she understood everything to a certain extent at least.

"I need to gather a few of my friends, promise not to act like you did around Merrill, alright?" She raised her brow at me, expecting me to listen to and obey her request.

Did she really think I was that unreasonable? I've no trouble with her other friends, save Anders. Was it that bizarre to be a bit uncomfortable around a person who regularly consorts with demons of the Fade through blood magic? At any moment the girl called Merrill could become an abomination, destroying all in it's path, including ones who had been close to the original person.

I certainly didn't think I was being out of order with my distrust of Merrill, but I also didn't think Daio would see things from my point of view, so I said nothing ore pertaining to the subject.

She and I wandered our way to Darktown, a place I did not enjoy seeing. There were starving, sick people sleeping in corners, surrounded by trash and sewage and disease ridden vermin.

If it happened to bother Daio, she said nothing, just continued on with a scrunched nose. The repulsive smell was perhaps the only thing that truly got to her.

"Stay here." Hawke said, stopping near a ghastly little building.

I looked the building over and narrowed my eyes at her.

"I'll be back shortly, I promise." I shot Daio an irritated look, but didn't argue with her on the matter. Her face turned up into a grin as she pinched my cheek with her thumb and index finger.

Daio slipped inside the building; two red lanterns hung lazily above the twin doors like tiny beacons, leading anyone to it even in the horridness that was Darktown.

I could just barely hear her through the thick wooden door, even with the sound of her voice, it was impossible to decipher the conversation between Daio and whoever else was beyond the door.

I began to count my breaths, trying to make the time pass by a little quicker somehow. I discovered after my third breath, that my heart and breathing would synchronize and would then be in unison with each other. It stayed that way until I yawned, which threw off the unison until I could steady my breathing again.

The evenness of my breaths was truly relaxing, not unlike meditation, but less focused. Time seemed to pass a bit more quickly when I was occupied with something else other than the moments ticking by. I leaned myself against a wall not far from the hovel and continued my counting.

My eyes drifted close after a few more minutes of complete silence, not from lethargy, but simple boredom.

"Fenris?" Daio sounded far off, like she was calling to me from a distance.

"Mmm?" I didn't move, or even open my eyes to see her. If she was close enough to hear, I didn't need to see her.

"When do you think your armor will be repaired?" She asked me softly. It was as if Hawke felt I would be angry with her, what exactly was it that she was getting at?

I opened my eyes to see her barely peeking her head out from behind the large wooden door. When she saw that my eyes had opened, Hawke motioned me to come near with her hand as she stepped outside.

I was there in three long strides, Daio was worrying me with her behavior, seeing as how her dark brown eyes would not meet mine.

"The armorer had said the repairs would be done in about two weeks. My armor was something new to him." I answered.

"Ah." Daio said nothing more, but retreated back into the hovel, slipping back through the small crack where the door had opened. I followed her, not wanting to wait any longer to see what had her so timid.

I walked inside a room with many cots with grey blankets lain haphazardly across them. There was a cracked wooden counter with different sized viles and a multitude of herbs scattered on the surface.

"I see you've brought him along." There was a man's voice, speaking to Daio but directed mainly to me. I looked up, knowing already who it was that the voice belonged to.

Anders looked at me blandly, leaning up against the far left wall of the little lab of horrors. Daio nervously half-smiled at me, trying to distract me from the other mage's less than friendly gaze. His eyes were trying to kill me, or at least wound me somehow.

"So, as I was saying before, I want to look into this missing boy. I think his mother would greatly appreciate our efforts." He said, attempting to avoid my presence in the room with them.

I coughed awkwardly, and his eyes, again, locked on in an attempt to kill me. I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, as the attention given to me was not the kind one should relish in.

"Do you want to go there now?" Hawke tried to divert the attention away from the brewing drama, and it worked; the mage concentrated on her instead of myself.

"That would be most wise, we'll be needing Varric and Isabela for this." He paused quickly, letting out a short; shrill breath from his nose like a bull. "I'm led to believe you'll escort _him _home?"

Needing Varric and Isabela for what? Why not take me instead?

"Anders, stop it." Daio ordered him sternly. "You're being an ass. And yes, I'll take Fenris home before we look into the missing boy."

The smug smirk on my face lasted for all of three heartbeats. She _wasn't _taking me with her, but she's taking Anders? Did she trust him more than I?

"Fenris, don't look at me like I just killed your puppy, you can't fight in a tunic and with no weapon."

Anger boiled over and melted into the cool, calm displeasure a person develops when pushed to the edge of one's sanity by another they can never hope to fully understand.

That was true, in a way, but she also couldn't fight with an untrustworthy man such as Anders. It was just idiotic to do so.

I didn't care to argue with her womanly logic, nor did I care to be in the same room with either of them at the moment. I understood (partly) that Hawke had other people to care for, but she apparently still doesn't know what she is to me.

I stormed back into Darktown and disappeared into Kirkwall without looking back at them.


End file.
